She's a Lady
by Lawi01
Summary: Oz returns from a timeless prison called Abyss to find not only that ten years have passed without him... but also that he has a fierce fiancee. AlicexOz. Rated T for Alice's foul mouth.
1. Surprise!

**A/N: Things that didn't fit in the summary…**

**As the title would suggest, this is based on the song 'She's a Lady' by Forever The Sickest Kids 'cause I think it really relates to Oz and Alice's relationship. I'm trying to include as many references to the lyrics as I can :P**

**This is sort of a more modern take on Pandora Hearts. Tried to fit in as many ties as I can think of here as well :P Bear with me here, people…**

"I can walk by myself," Oz growled, pulling his arm away from the burly guard who roughly lead him from his cramped cell to freedom. His handcuffs jingled merrily with the movement, reminding him again of this whole embarrassing incident.

Embarrassing for his father, at any rate. Oz himself really couldn't care less. He'd spent time in prisons before, never longer than a matter of hours before his father's cronies pulled enough strings to free him. But a whole two days… That had been a new experience. Oz's cockiness had quickly evaporated when night had fallen with no promise of freedom. His cell buddies were none too friendly either and reminded him of a cannibal thing he had seen on TV once with Gilbert. After two stressful nights, the grudging watchman reluctantly released him back into the arms of the Vessalius house. Who were waiting outside, so until Oz actually saw his uncle's no doubt disapproving face he was still technically property of the prison.

Oz wouldn't actually _say _it was his father's fault, because even though that was technically the crux of the matter, no-one would really believe him. They would just say that he was responsible for his own actions, blah blah blah. Oz did what he did with obvious purpose, but his motive never wavered. He was embarrassing his father. That was all he wanted to do. Shame him, punish him for rejecting him all those years ago. Behind his every act of stupidity was a rage, a reason, a thirst. When the councilors asked him why he wanted to do these things, he always told them to look no further than his father. He was then labeled as an ingrate and irresponsible, for as far as the public was concerned Sir Zai Vessalius was a kind, caring man, husband and father.

_Pfft._

People were stupid, Oz decided. Stupid to believe the lies his father spun every other day, stupid to adore him, stupid even to let Oz go at the end of the day. No counselor could cure him of his rage. He would be a loose cannon until his father's dying day. Or until someone actually listened to him. Gil was all well and good, but he was too scared to do anything. He was such a wuss, and a crybaby. Gil could never handle anything without breaking it. He was a great friend, but he was not the help that Oz was looking for.

When the prison doors were swung open at last, Oz was blinded at first by sunlight. Then he saw his uncle's grim face and his knees buckled a little bit. Oscar Vessalius never got angry, ever. He just got disappointed, and that was ten times worse than angry. That guy really knew how to get to Oz. He stepped down to the car awkwardly. "Hey, Oscar."

"In the car, Oz," His uncle said shortly. "We need to talk."

Oz swallowed. He wasn't a fan of talks.

The doors slammed shut. Oscar was sitting in the seat opposite Oz in the grand, sleek, black limosine. Oz didn't dare reach for a Coke from the mini fridge. There was a time and a place, and this was neither.

"Oz," His uncl began with a sigh. "I hope you realize the gravity of this situation."

"Look, Oscar, I'm not even kidding, it was really an accident this time-"

"That matter is dealt with," Oscar interrupted crisply. "There are, however, several other matters I must discuss with you."

Oz's face brightened. "Is Dad dead?"

Oscar almost smiled at his nephew's eagerness. "Are you aware of how long you spent in prison?"

Oz was a little surprised by the odd question. "Two days, give or take?"

Oscar sighed and hung his head. "I was afraid that this would happen. Oz, that prison was quite… _different _to the other ones."

Oz was instantly wary. "How so?" He probed.

"The prison you were just released from is fabled to have a curse on it," Oscar began. "As men of logic, we did not believe this until recently."

"How recently? What curse?" Oz demanded desperately. He hated cliffhangers like this.

"Five years ago, we discovered the curse and pleaded with your father to have you released immediately."

Oz looked at his uncle curiously. "But I wasn't in that prison five years ago."

Oscar sighed. "Actually, you were. According to legends, time does not exist in that prison. What passes in there passes differently out here. Therefore, the two days you spent in prison were actually ten years here. You have missed out on ten years."

The short sentence delivered the hardest blow Oz had received since Zai had rejected him. It wasn't possible. Stuff like this didn't happen, not in real life. "No way," He breathed, more to himself than anyone.

"We researched further to help your case," Oscar continued carefully. "It turns out a man of the Baskerville house put a curse on the prison when his son was wrongfully accused and jailed. The ultimate punishment, he decided, was to be caught in time forever. We're still not sure how such a feat is pulled off but we're keeping quiet with the information for now. Until further notice, this will be addressed as _Abyss_, the nickname some of our scientists have given the prison. So if you hear any mention of that, that's what they're talking about."

"Did Zai know?" Oz asked quietly. He never called Zai 'father' anymore. He wasn't worth it. Oscar hesitated before nodding once, watching Oz carefully for his nephew's reaction.

The blonde just smirked, averting his emerald eyes with a degree of sadness Oscar hadn't seen in him before. "Bastard," He said quietly, and that was all. Silence settled, and finally Oz looked up again. His eyes were riddled with an emotion Oscar could not quite place, but instead of the erratic, hyperactive monkey he usually was, he had settled, already accepting the fact that he had been robbed of ten years. "What's happened while I've been gone?"

"Well, Gil was devastated, as you can imagine," Oscar babbled, relieved that his nephew was not a complete wreck… yet. "He's grown up a fair bit since you left, though. He had a rough patch about five years back, though, when he was twenty. Hanging out on the streets and whatnot. People started calling him Raven and he became a bit of a formidable force to reckon with on the street. Can you imagine? It was dreadful, but we steered him out of it eventually. He couldn't believe what he'd done and reverted to the same old Gil you know. Other than that, there's nothing else that is of much interest to you. The girls have all moved on without you, and you'll be rather surprised, I think, to see Break. He's waiting for you back at the mansion, with Gil."

Oz tried to imagine what Xerk might look like as an adult. The image didn't come easily. That guy was such a kid it was hard to imagine him as a mature man. All the stupid stuff they'd ever gotten up to… He wondered if Gil and Break had both really grown up without him. Who would Oz wreak havoc with now? Everything today seemed so fantastical. Gil, a gangster? Break, an adult? And Oz… he was meant to be _twenty-five. _It was a big number, much bigger than fifteen. He felt so lost… What about Ada? How did she get along without her big brother around to guide her? Not that Oz was much of a role model, really. What would she say to him? He felt dizzy, it was all too much to take in.

The car slowed down, and finally stopped. Oz looked out the window and paused, looking back at Oscar in confusion. "This isn't the Vessalius mansion."

Oscar sighed and fiddled with his vest awkwardly. "There's something else that happened while you were away," He began heavily. "The head of the Baskerville house was tired of your misbehaving and didn't want to let you out, not until the better part of a hundred years had passed to teach you a lesson. We eventually got him to agree, but under one condition."

Oz blanched, expecting the worst. Servitude. Tax. Sacrifice. He opened his mouth to argue, but what Oscar said next killed the words in his throat.

"Oz, you're engaged to Glen Baskerville's only daughter and will be married in a matter of weeks."


	2. Fiancee

**A/N: Yeah… I'm so bored I've already got two chapters up XD I really need more homework… **

The prominence the four 'Duke' houses had diminished significantly through the centuries. They were famed for saving the world a few hundred years ago, or something like that. Although Oz couldn't quite remember all their names, he knew quite well that the houses of Nightray and Baskerville were, more or less, called the 'traitor' houses, for reasons he couldn't be bothered to investigate. One thing he did know, however, was that the houses were very old indeed. Practices like councils, secret organizations and arranged cross-family marriages to keep the peace had died out long ago and each house now lived in their own peace, managing some part of the country and generally being happy with their wealth. Oz had never interacted much with any of the other Duke houses, mostly keeping within his own friendship group of other intimidated kids from the street or gutsy servants he had recruited from the mansion. His father, a renowned businessman, was thankfully never home and Oz's care remained the job of a bunch of maids who were just as incapable of taming him as the last ones were.

Not that much of this mattered, given Oz's particular predicament.

"I'm WHAT?" Oz spluttered, eyes bulging wide as he sat forward in his seat, so much so that he had almost thrown himself on his uncle with fury.

Oscar winced. "It would appear that Glen Baskerville is as eager to be rid of his only child as your father is," He explained calmly. "In order to release you, Master Vessalius agreed to a deal with Lord Baskerville. It was the only way to get you out of here."

"Oh my _God_…" This was _disastrous. _No more random pretty girls from the street. Matrimony… It was a foreign word, one he avoided fussily. This wasn't actually happening. This day couldn't possibly get any worse. "An arranged marriage, right?"

Oscar shrugged. "I suppose so."

Oz moaned. "That's so old-_fashioned_!" He complained. "Stuff like that only happens in India! We're in twenty-first century England, Oscar. Can't we cancel it or something?"

"Afraid not," He shook his head. "It's the only way to guarantee your freedom."

Oz straightened suddenly. "OK, fine, I'll marry her, but only if I can divorce her straight after."

Oscar shook his head again. "No can do, Oz. If Lady Baskerville were divorced, she would be sent back to the Baskerville house which is sort of the reverse of what Glen is aiming for, thus cancelling out the deal and getting you sent back to prison."

Oz slumped in his seat again, chin touching his chest. "This _sucks_," He mumbled sulkily.

"Look on the bright side!" Oscar tried to be optimistic. "I hear this girl is very pretty, probably right up your alley."

Oz cocked an eyebrow questioningly. "You've met this girl?"

"Well… no," Oscar admitted. "Glen never admits her to leave the mansion. Family problems, I presume. But she assures me that she is very beautiful." He paused again. "As far as 'rat-faced weasels' go."

Oz moaned again, throwing his head back. "You're serious about this, aren't you?"

"I've never been more so in my life," Oscar confirmed. "It's all for the best Oz, really. Now, when you've cleaned up your little pity party we'll need to get a move along. Glen is expecting us very soon."

Oz looked at his uncle wearily. "For what?"

Oscar laughed, clapping his nephew's thin shoulder with a huge hand. "Why, to meet your fiancée, of course!"

Oz shuddered. Fiancée. Gross. He was _fifteen, _for God's sake. Fifteen year olds don't _get _married. He was hardly paying attention when Oscar lead him out of the car and up the front doors where he knocked politely and stepped back, waiting for a response. He was totally deflated, drained of all energy and willpower. He looked up a little when a little maid with big eyes answered the door, ushering them inside and leading them to a grand, dark front room.

"Lord Baskerville will be down in a moment," She said quietly. "Make yourselves at home, good sirs. I'll return with refreshments in a moment."

Oz collapsed bodily on an expensive looking dark-purple lounge while Oscar settled into a dark velvet armchair, taking in his surroundings appreciatively. The room was dark and made almost completely of black marble. A grand chandelier hung from the ceiling, illuminating the dark room, and regular arched windows glared down at them as they let in a flood of sunlight. A pair of regal stairs wound upstairs to another level where the first thing to catch one's eye was a huge oak double door. Smaller doors filled the circular landing, presumably followed by more doors, and more doors after that.

"It's all very grand, isn't it?" Oscar said to his nephew cheerily.

"Yeah, it's great." Oz really wasn't in the mood. "Hey, Oscar, how come Glen never lets this girl outside?"

He opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted when a loud bang echoed through the spacious room. Their heads snapped up to see the oak double doors at the top of the staircase thrown wide open. Voices reached them almost immediately, and although they could not see anything from beneath the staircase Oz could already tell that there was a girl involved somewhere.

"Let me _go_, you rotten turd! I can walk by myself- gah! Stop… pulling!" There was the sound of a hand hitting a face, followed by indifferent footsteps as they trudged down the gothic staircase. Eventually, the fearsome Glen Baskerville and his only daughter stepped into view. Oz's breath caught and he stood immediately, propelled by intimidation more than anything else.

Glen's eyes were narrow, harsh and merciless. His dark hair crept down his neck and he was dressed in a long, black cloak that swished about his ankles as he walked calmly down the stairs. His hands were encased in white gloves, and in his left hand he held the ear of a young girl. She was a little shorter than Oz and her long, dark hair was pulled back into a flowing ponytail. She was thin and athletic-looking and her expression was furious. Her hands were bunched into fists as her the head of the Baskerville house lead her down the staircase. She wore short denim shorts and a plain white baggy singlet. Her feet were bare and spattered with paint, as were her hands, arms, face and part of her clothes. Her eyes were a curious shade of purple, Oz noticed as she came down the staircase. For the first time all day, his mood lightened a little.

_She's pretty cute._

Finally, the warring duo came to a halt before Oscar and Oz. Glen released his daughter with a shove and she stumbled to the side, glaring at him hatefully. Oscar nodded his head politely at Glen and smiled at the girl. Oz bowed formally, and when he stood upright again, the girl was piercing him with a doubtful glare.

"Who's this brat?" She demanded. "His hair looks like a bunch of yellow palm tree leaves."

Oz's good mood was forgotten and he quickly jumped on the defensive. "Well I sure hope you like coconuts," He spat. "'Cause you're gonna be getting plenty of them for the next whoever knows how long."

The girl smirked. "Perv."

Oz was a little taken aback. "Pardon?"

She laughed a laugh that was harsh and arrogant. "Ha! You're really as stupid as they tell me, aren't you? Do you have _any _idea the sexual implications of what you just said?"

Oz blanched. "Well, obviously that makes _you_ the perv for jumping to that conclusion!" He yelled, frustrated. If he was really marrying this little bitch, he would surely die within a week of matrimony.

"Please, children," Oscar interrupted, laughing nervously and determined to halt the conversation before it went any further. "Let's try to get along."

"With this bitch? No way," Oz shook his head, taking a step backward and holding his hands up. He was having none of it.

"Welcome to my life," Glen muttered.

"Suck my dick," The girl replied, to both Oz and her father. She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck, stepping forward. "Guess this is pretty awkward, huh? I'm Alice." She spat on her hand and offered it to him. "Your fiancée."

Oz looked at the hand as though it were a rat. Alice watched him with a smirk. "Scared to get your hands dirty, are we, Little Vessalius?" She looked at Oscar questioningly. "Am I seriously marrying this wuss? I take lunch money from guys like this."

Flushing furiously, Oz grabbed her hand and shook tightly. "Oz," he said thinly. "No pleasure in meeting you."

"Likewise." With a sudden surge of force, Alice yanked him in close so her lips were at his ear. Oz's spine tingled: normally things like this were in the reverse. Girls, in his experience, were _never _in charge. "Listen, Little Vessalius," She hissed in his ear. "I'm just as pissed about this as you are, but I will do _anything _to get out of this hellhole and away from that shit standing behind me. I hate your guts already, but if you screw this up I _will _kill you."

Somehow Oz didn't doubt it.

She released his hand suddenly, and he looked at the saliva that dripped from it with disgust. Alice stepped back, standing almost next to her father but not quite, and wiped her hand against her shorts indifferently. Oz retreated behind his uncle and cleaned his hand against the back of Oscar's vest. His uncle pretended not to notice, but Oz just caught the death glare he got from behind his glasses.

"Master Oscar," Glen said suddenly. His voice was quiet but held authority and demanded respect. Oz was intimidated. "If you would be so kind as to remove this weasel from my home for the present, I would be most grateful. I daresay these two have a lot to get used to in the coming weeks. You may return her after nightfall; I understand if she becomes a difficult burden to bear after a few hours."

"Do the normal house rules apply while she is in our care?" Oscar asked, no doubt referring to Glen's reluctance to let Alice leave the mansion.

Glen turned on his heel. "I care not for what happens to you under her care," He replied. "As long as she weds without issue, I don't really care."

Silence settled until Oscar coughed awkwardly, directing an uncertain smile at Alice. "Ready to go, Lady Baskerville?"

"The sooner the better," She replied with sudden eagerness, striding across the marble floor with purpose. Oz looked back at Glen, who was standing on the balcony above and watching them passively.

_Cheerful guy._

"Do you want shoes, Lady Baskerville?" The maid from before called out from across the room.

"Fuck you," Alice called back, directing a rude hand gesture up at the balcony. Oz wondered if she had heard the maid at all.

Alice lead the way back out to the car. Oz pulled Oscar back a little and muttered into his ear. "Hey, Oscar. If he doesn't care what happens to her… Can we cut out her tongue so she can't talk?"

Oscar smiled awkwardly and ignored his nephew, though somehow he didn't doubt that there was true intention beneath Oz's words.

Once in the limo again, Alice crossed her arms and legs and pierced both Vessalius men with a glare so powerful they both shuddered inwardly.

"So, which of you is going to be the manservant?" She demanded.

"Oz," Oscar answered immediately, unable to believe that he was actually intimidated by a girl half his size.

"Traitor," Oz breathed. "Who said I'm going to listen to you?" He demanded of Alice.

Alice grinned wickedly. "The fact that I'm not afraid to do this."

Without further ado, she punched Oz in the face. Not as she could have, but still hard enough to hurt. A lot.

Oz swore and fell onto his side. He sat back up again almost immediately and threw his shoe at his fiancee's head furiously. "What the hell was that for, you crazy bitch!"

Oscar chuckled half-heartedly to himself as they fought. _The beginnings of a beautiful relationship…_


	3. Of Crazy Bitches and Coconut Boys

"Oh yeah? Well, here's what I think of you, you little-"

Oz was cut off when Oscar's phone rang. He silenced the fighting pair with a wave of his hand and accepted the call, turning his back away from the warring teenagers subconsciously. Alice and Oz exchange hearty death glares and rude gestures until Oscar straightened and handed Oz the phone. "It's for you," He said quietly.

Alice snorted. "What, this jerk actually had friends? There really is a God."

Oz shot her another rude gesture before holding the phone to his ear irritably. "What?" He snapped, throwing his feet up onto the chair beside him angrily.

There was a chuckle from the other side of the line. "Is that really any way to greet your best friend?" It was a man, but definitely not someone Oz knew.

Oz looked at the phone in his hand as though it were an alien. "Who is this?" He demanded.

The voice on other side sounded offended. "I'm offended!" He said sulkily. It was, in fact, an attitude Oz realized he was quite familiar. He straightened suddenly, face bright.

"Break, you weirdo! Is that you?" A wide smile was on his face, a happy mood not even his fiancée could damper.

Break laughed heartily. "Finally, you get some sense through those mucky ears of yours. How did Abyss treat you?"

There was an odd growling noise from the other side and the sound of a phone moving. The voice that greeted him next was a little higher in pitch and apologetic. "Sorry about that, Oz. Break really meant to say that he missed you very much."

Oz rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling. "Don't be such a sap, Gil. I've dealt with worse than a freaky albino."

Break was, apparently, still listening. "You know, you're still very rude," He said plainly. "I've got a great stick back here that might knock some sense into you."

Gil growled again and it sounded like he shoved Break away impatiently. "Have you, eh, met Lady Baskerville yet?"

Oz cast another hateful glance in the direction of his fiancée, but faltered when he saw her face. She had pressed her hands against the window glass and was watching the passing city with wide eyes. It must have been weird, Oz thought. She had never been permitted to leave the mansion before. This must have been the first time she had left the mansion. Oz felt a little bit sorry for her, but not enough to actually pity her from the bottom of his heart. "Forget cats, Gil," He said quietly. "This girl is a whole new level of fear, especially for a crybaby like you."

Gil made an odd choking noise. "I'll have you know," He stammered. "That unlike you I've actually matured some over the past ten years!"

"He's lying," Break called distantly. "He's just taller and he had a funny piercing and a big black coat, but that's kinda it."

"I'm doing better than you!" Gil yelled back at him. Oz smiled a little. Break had always gotten under Gil's skin without even trying. "At least I haven't been dumped five times over!"

"That's because there's no such thing as a girl that would actually like you."

Gil made that funny choking noise again, but sighed heavily and turned his attention back to his master. His voice was tight. "How far are you from the mansion?" He asked shortly.

"We're just coming through the city now," Oz replied. "We'll see you soon, I guess. Be prepared. This chick has fists of freaking fury."

"Over and out."

Gil hung out, and Oz followed suit, handing the phone back to a grinning Oscar. He looked relieved to have Alice off his hands for a moment, what with her being utterly mystified by the city and whatnot. "What did you think?"

"They haven't changed at all," Oz smiled to himself.

_Thank God._

"What about Ada?" Oz asked curiously. Oscar coughed uncomfortably and straightened his tie.

"Well, um, you see," He began awkwardly. "It seems that Ada has run off with Gil's younger brother, Vincent."

"Since when did Gil have a little brother?" Oz demanded. "Since when did Ada run off with guys?"

"Ten years, Oz," Oscar reminded him. "People change. Vincent Nightray stepped forward, claiming to be Gilbert's long lost little brother. The house of Nightray adopted him, but he's still as loyal to you as ever. As soon as he plucks up the guts to tell his adoptive father he'll be leaving the Nightray house for that of Vessalius, it'll be a done deal. But yes, Ada is currently residing in the Nightray house with Vincent." Oscar sighed sadly. "He's got her wrapped around his little finger. We told her he wouldn't be faithful, but she wouldn't have any of it. She simply adores him. I find him a little creepy, myself, but what can you do?"

Oz was instantly defensive. "Is she alone with him?" He demanded. If this Vincent guy did anything to his little sister…

Oscar laughed. "Vincent's little pet Echo never leaves his side."

Oz rolled his eyes. "Sorry, Oscar, but somehow I don't' think a dog is going to help Ada."

"Human pet," Oscar corrected himself. "Echo is just a little girl, very loyal to him. Very quiet, but very loyal indeed."

"What's that about Echo?" Alice said suddenly. "How do you know her?"

"How do _you _know her?" Oz shot back, his cheery mood dampened by this dark news of his baby sister.

"I see her around the mansion all the time with her creep of a master," She snapped. "That Vincent guy always sends her off, so we hang out a lot. Your turn, Mister Pushy."

"She's the servant of the man my sister was stupid enough to fall in love with," Oz replied grumpily. "Satisfied?"

Alice's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You mean little Ada Vessalius has run off with Vincent Nightray?"

"What are you, deaf?" Oz snapped back huffily, slumping in his sleep. When he looked up again, Alice had whipped out her phone and was tapping the buttons madly. "Hey! What are you doing?" He demanded.

Alice shrugged indifferently. "Someone's gotta spread the word, don't they?"

Oz blanched. "What, you're blogging it or something?"

His fiancée smacked her lips and nodded. "Sure thing."

That was too far. "You bloody gossip!" Oz exploded, throwing his other shoe at her head. "That's family information! Need to know basis and all that!"

Alice shrugged carelessly. "Not anymore. Have your shoes back." She hurled them back at his head with eerie precision, and it hurt. Oz pulled them back on again with furious savagery, glaring at his fiancée the entire time. At this point, they were winding their way up the Vessalius driveway, and Alice was mystified once again. Oz took advantage of her silence and took the time to calm himself. Gil would simply have a fit when Alice started up on him again. He had to start the reunion on a high note so Gil wouldn't worry.

They clambered out of the limo one by one and made their way up the grand Vessalius steps. At the top, just in front of the grand double doors, Oz turned and saw Alice standing in the middle of the driveway, head tipped back so as to take in the full scale of the huge mansion. He smirked and leaned against the doorframe. "Admiring the twenty-first century?" He called down. "Some of us have enough cash to update our homes from the stone age."

"I've never seen another house apart from my mansion," Alice replied quietly, calm for once. Her tranquillity took Oz by surprise. "This is so weird, it's all too much to take in. Glen never let me see the world." The looked at Oz suddenly, eyes alight. "Hey, could you show me around the city at some point?"

Oz faltered. "Uh, I guess so," He answered without thinking. Alice smiled with a warmth Oz didn't expect from her seemingly cold heart.

"Thanks!" She said cheerily before skipping happily up the stairs and following Oscar through the ajar double doors. Still a little dazed by his fiancée's sudden change of mood, Oz followed and closed the door behind him quietly. Alice was watching him in the middle of the room, still smiling. "Where do we go now?" She asked innocently.

"Living room, I guess," Oz said with a shrug. "Gil and Break are probably waiting there. You'd like Break. He's good with his insults."

Alice's eyes suddenly narrowed, and Oz remembered who he was talking to. Crazy bitch, take two. "What are you implying?" She demanded.

"Nothing at all," Oz replied breezily, stepping past her coolly. _Two can play this game. _"Do you wanna get lost or are you gonna follow me?"

Just as Oz had expected, Alice was, in turn, taken aback by his unexpected calm in the face of insults. She followed wordlessly, at a loss for what could just be the first time in her life, ever. They made their way to the main lounge room in blissful silence, and when Oz opened the door he was greeted by an almost normal scene.

The sun was flooded with sunlight, and a nice-looking but untouched black grand piano stood in the corner. A young man with curly dark hair sitting on a window ledge was reading a newspaper passively, golden eyes skipping over the words idly. His foot tapped to the regular beat of whatever song was on the radio until a young man stretched out on the couch would change the channel. This particular gentleman had white hair and one red eye. The other was covered by a silver fringe. He was sucking on a lollipop and his bent legs were swinging back forth in the air idly. His feet were bare and his worn jacket was far too big for him. There was a girl in the room, too, and Oz examined her immediately. She was very pretty, probably about Alice's age (seeing as Oz was technically meant to be twenty-five) and had pale rose-coloured eyes. Her long, light brown hair cascaded down her back carelessly and there were a few sparkly butterfly clips adorning her locks. She was dressed casually in jeans and a plain white singlet. Her frame was thin and she looked very graceful as she looked out across the grounds thoughtfully. Oz immediately regretted his unfortunate engagement to the crazy bitch. There were so many other pretty girls out there, so little time…

"Hey, it's Oz," The albino on the couch said lazily, looking up from his radio long enough to see Oz and his awkward fiancée. The dark-haired man looked up immediately and the girl looked over curiously.

_Girls can never wait to get a look at this, _Oz thought smugly. He was interrupted when the dark-haired man, his most faithful servant, Gilbert, stepped over to him… and paused awkwardly.

"Hey Oz," He said. It was one of those moments when Oz figured you were meant to hug, but Gil was way too shy for that. So Oz just smiled back up at him.

"Hello Gil!" He said cheerily. "You've grown. I can't use you as an arm rest anymore."

Gil's smile was almost apologetic. "Bummer," He grinned. Oz laughed and turned his attention to Break.

"Morning, freak," He grinned. It was a usual ritual for them, something they had upheld since childhood.

"Morning, brat," Break replied nonchalantly, as though he really couldn't care less.

_He hasn't changed a bit, _Oz smiled. _Neither of them have._

"And who might you be?" He asked the girl at the other side of the room with an air of what he deemed to be irresistible charm. "I couldn't help but notice you were alone."

The girl blushed and opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted when Alice smacked the back of Oz's head hard. "What do you think you're doing, manservant?" She demanded, throwing him to the ground and slamming her bare foot into his back. "_I'm_ your fiancée, not her!"

"I sense jealousy," Oz sang wheezily. He couldn't quite get enough air in his lungs for it to sound normal. "You have reason to be. There's a fair bit of competition there, not that you were ever a valid competitor."

"Careful, Oz," Break called lazily from the couch. "That's my daughter you're flirting with."

Whatever air was left in Oz's lungs was quickly knocked from him. "WHAT?" He demanded. Alice grinned wickedly to herself and pocketed her phone suggestively. "But… she… eh… Gil. Explain."

Gil sighed awkwardly. "In the past ten years, Break has been both married and divorced five times," He explained. "Each of his five wives was pregnant with his child when they left him, so technically Break has five daughters. Sharon's mother died shortly after her birth, and Sharon was returned back to her father."

Oz looked at Break wildly for confirmation. "You have a _daughter_?" He demanded.

Break moaned and tipped his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know," He groaned. "It's such a drag. Remind me never to get married again."

Oz looked at Break's daughter in disbelief. They looked nothing alike! A small mercy, perhaps… Maybe the eyes, maybe. There was something in those eyes… Oz managed to tear his eyes away from hers long enough to note her body language. Her cheeks were red and she was rubbing the back of her neck and chewing her lip awkwardly, looking at Break- her _father_- with an emotion that Oz couldn't quite describe. It wasn't hate, but it wasn't love. There was something going on there.

"Alice," He wheezed. "Could you please get off me now?"

"Maaybe," She replied, sitting down with finality on his back. He gasped with surprise and coughed. "Promise not to flirt with the freak's daughter?"

Oz snorted. "Sorry, but the very idea of having anything to do with Break's bloodline puts me off pretty well. You have my word."

Judging from the look on Sharon's face, that was the wrong thing to say. Still, it got Alice off him, and she even helped him up. There was something evil about her smile as she did so, though… Oz would figure it out eventually.

_After all, _he mused. _It's a husband's job to learn everything about his wife, right?_

Oz rubbed the back of his head painfully as he stood. "Wanna trade, Break?" He asked wearily. "I'm sure you'll find her a pure bundle of joy."

Alice glared. "Watch it, Coconut Boy."

Break cocked an eyebrow questioningly. "'Coconut Boy'? Which reminds me, I don't believe we've been introduced properly. Oz, is it not the duty of a fiancée to show off his dearly beloved to the world?"

"You'd be surprised," Oz muttered. "Guys, Crazy Bitch. Crazy Bitch, guys."

"He's my manservant," Alice replied to the jibe simply.

Break looked at Oz pointedly. "Can't top that," He shrugged. "Crazy Bitch wins."

Alice smiled proudly. "I like the clown," She said decisively.

Clowns, Crazy Bitches, Coconut Boys… the next few weeks would certainly be a collage of colourful language and loving names.

_We're all gonna die._


	4. Competition

Oz was right: they were all going to die, and it was going to take a lot less than a few weeks.

Following the awkward revelation of Break's recent history, Oz and Gil offered to take Alice on a tour of the mansion. As they walked the brightly lit corridors, Alice bluntly pointed out the flaws in the architecture, her personal opinions and criticisms and addressed Gil and Oz frequently as 'manservants'. Oz tried to play calm again, but he could see Gil's hand twitching and he was close to snapping too. Finally, he got to boiling point and rounded on her furiously.

"When you're done raving about how the differences between twenty-first century architecture and that of the stone age, you can go shove my socks from last year in your gob before I do if for you!"

Alice faced him calmly. "Take it as constructive criticism," She replied coolly. "Personally, I think this house is better off as a pile of rubble. Then you and your blondie clan can go live your days on the streets, God knows jerks like you deserve it."

"What, as opposed to a pile of black marble?" Oz snapped back, briefly wondering why he was getting worked up over architecture. "You can't be _Daddy's Little Girl_ forever. If you're so desperate to marry me and get away from Glen, why do you praise that house you hate so much?"

That got under her skin, just as Oz had expected. He allowed a small moment for satisfaction. "I would _never _praise that bastard!" Alice roared. "If you actually _listened _to me, you'd know that I never said anything about my home!"

"Then why are you criticizing mine?" Oz demanded.

"Because I think it looks really bad," Alice replied simply. "Just a few touch-ups, is all. I could paint it."

Oz looked doubtfully at her paint-spattered clothes. "By the look of you, you have the artistic ability of a two year old. And sorry to tell you, love, but most houses today look like this. If you're so eager for me to show you the city, you'd better get used to the ugly architecture. Unless you want to go back to Daddy's mansion? I'm sure you'll be welcome."

"And I'm sure Abyss will welcome you with open arms," Alice spat back. Then she paused. "When did I tell you to show me the city?"

Oz looked at her in disbelief. "Like, twenty minutes ago?"

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "No I didn't."

"Uh, yeah, you did. As soon as we got back, you asked me to show you around the city 'cause you've never actually seen the world beyond your window. Ring a bell?"

Alice flicked her hair back arrogantly. "Well, I sure as hell wouldn't want to go with a jerk like you! What about Mister Suck-Up here, can he take me? Or the clown?"

That was Gil's breaking point. "I'm not a suck-up!" He protested. "And Break has never been bothered to get a driver's license, so unless you straighten up your act you're not going anywhere."

Alice strode past him ignorantly. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. You'll take me eventually."

"What gives you reason to be so cocky?" Oz demanded after her as she walked down the corridors. She spun around and grinned wickedly, holding up her phone for him to see. Oz stepped towards it cautiously… and was greeted by an awful photo of his shocked face. A caption beneath the photo read:

_The look on the face of my douchebag fiancée when he found up the girl I found him flirting with his best friend's daughter._

"Is that a blog?" Gil asked curiously over Oz's shoulder. Alice nodded triumphantly, still grinning from ear to ear.

"That's not fair!" Oz cried out, snatching at the phone. Alice tore it away from his reach easily, watching him with a raised eyebrow. "You didn't _find _me doing anything! You were right there!"

Alice shrugged. "It's not like anyone's going to know any better." With that, she flicked her ponytail over her shoulder and continued on her way. Oz watched her, eye twitching hatefully.

"I'm gonna kill her," He growled. "I really will."

Gil put what he thought was a calming hand on his master's shoulder. "Let me handle this." He stepped forward, squaring his shoulder boldly. "Lady Baskerville," He called after her. "Let's sort this out like… eh, gentlemen and women. Just take the photo down, eh? What do you say? Oz and I will make dinner tonight."

Alice looked at him doubtfully. "You serious? No way, that's stupid." She paused, then said: "If he can beat me in a race down this corridor, I'll consider it."

"I need your word," Gil pressed. "No considerations. I want a definite."

Alice rolled her eyes and sighed exasperatedly. "Fine, fine, you have my word. Coconut Boy, you in?"

"Do I have a choice?" He growled, stomping over to the other side of the corridor. Alice followed coolly, bracing herself in a race pose next to him. She cast him a sidewards glance.

"As if those scrawny legs of yours could beat mine," Alice breathed. Oz caught it and glared back.

"Like you can talk! I'm willing to bet the most exercise you've ever done is running away from your father when he tried to beat you."

Alice flushed angrily at that and her lips tightened, giving Oz the satisfaction of the last word. He looked up at Gil and nodded once. Unable to believe he was actually conducting a race between a warring engaged couple, Gil sighed began:

"The race is from your end of the corridor to mine," He called from the other end. "Oz wins, Alice takes the photo down. Alice wins, Oz cooks dinner tonight. I promise no bias whatsoever and to be a fair judge, unless there is foul play from either side. On your mark… set… go."

They took off. It wasn't a particularly long sprint, but Oz was still determined to win. He would _not _be beaten by a woman, especially not this one. She was so proud, Oz didn't think he'd be able to stand the look on her face while he slaved away in the kitchen.

_Let's see who's the senior in this relationship._

They were neck and neck when Alice collapsed. She cried out and fell forward, hands flailing helplessly. She landed face-first and remained there motionless for a few seconds. Oz instinctively slowed, thinking about the time when Ada had broken her ankle in a athletics carnival when she first started school. He stood next to her and offered his hand to help her up. It all happened too quickly for him to actually realize what he was doing and to whom, but the penny dropped when Alice looked up suddenly with an evil look on her face. She grabbed Oz's outstretched hand and pulled him down roughly, standing at the same time and hauling the final stretch to Gil's side of the corridor. Hands held high, she crowed out triumphantly and poked her tongue out at the boy on the ground.

"_So _not fair," Oz groaned as he stood. "Gil?"

The Gil in question sighed and looked at Alice, rubbing the back of his neck. "He has a point, Alice. That counts as foul play."

Alice rolled her eyes. "You guys are so boring. That's how Echo and I always did it. She never said anything about it."

"She probably doesn't know any better," Gil said firmly. "She's seen as much of the world as you have, she's never met any other kids. You can't rule over everyone all the time, Alice. It's a tie."

Alice pouted. "No rematch?"

Gil shrugged. "I don't trust you."

She pulled a face. "Oh-kaaay, then, what about… an arm-wrestle?"

Oz looked at her in disbelief. "You're so competitive!" He exclaimed.

"You're so touchy," She shot back. "That didn't hurt. Be a man!"

"I am a man," Oz grumbled, standing. "Come on. One arm wrestle. Same deal as before."

Alice grinned, satisfied. "Cool."

Oz lead the way into an adjoining room from the corridor. He didn't take much time to see which room he was in, exactly, but it had a table, and that was all he needed. He sat at one side and Alice at the other. Elbow planted firmly on the table, Oz held his hand up and looked at her questioningly. Alice followed suit and Gil sat at the head of the table, sighing wearily. "Same rules as before. One round only. Three, two, one, go."

It was over very quickly. Still in a rage, Oz had been a second too slow and Alice had slammed his hand onto the table in a second. He looked up at her angrily. "I wasn't ready!" He protested, looking at Gil pleadingly. He shook his head.

"You said it yourself," Gil replied. "One round only. Alice wins."

Alice grinned. "Better get your apron on, Coconut Boy."

"Who's afraid to get their hands dirty now?" Oz shot back angrily.

Alice shrugged, opening the door indifferently. "Still you," She replied simply. "It was your bet."

The flipped the light switch off and closed the door, leaving Oz, alone in the dark.

"I hate you," He muttered after her.

Despite the closed door, Alice's arrogant laugh rang out loud and clear.


	5. An Insightful Conversation, Part I

**A/N: Hello children… Sorry about the lack of chapters over the past three days. The sad thing is that it's the longest I've gone not posting anything XD I like to think it shows how committed I am… Anyway, pushing my English homework aside, I've got tons of spare time now so I can make up for it 8D Enjoy…**

A week passed, bringing the dreaded wedding day ever closer. Alice and Oz stayed well out of it, leaving the planning to fussy maids and obsessive random women from the city. Oz's stomach did a funny flip-flop whenever he saw the decorations in the front room or heard whisperings of the planning or walked past the chapel.

Alice, he knew, was just as anxious as he was, but she hid it beneath her mask of casual rudeness. Each morning, just before dawn, she was silently collected from the Baskerville mansion. She would have breakfast alone and as the mansion began to wake she would find someone to annoy until Oz woke up. She would spend the rest of the day with her fiancée, fighting with him, competing in stupid races against him, blackmailing him until finally dinner came around. She was so busy shoveling meat into her face that she hardly had time to talk. Her full belly weighed her down and made her tired, giving Gil and Oz about an hour of relief. They would usually settle down to watch a movie (Alice hadn't seen many of those in her own mansion and was mystified into silence) and then after dark she would be sent back home. Her father never saw her, just as he asked: she left before he woke and returned long after he had slept.

Their conversations were never particularly insightful. As long as the words from one injured the other, the context did not particularly matter. Their reluctant relationship was a running competition to see who could do the most damage in one day. By the end of the day, they would both be bored and tired of fighting, but after a night of mulling over the other's words, creating possible scenarios and making up colourful comebacks, they were both bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next morning, ready to scream at each other once more.

Their first major 'fight'- that is to say, an argument that actually caused something along the lines of devastation- came about a week after Oz's release from Abyss. Neither of them knew it at the time, but this fight would open up several major doors.

At the very least, they both learned something about each other, not to mention themselves.

Oz was sitting alone in a grand kitchen/living room that he had christened as his own. Posters decked the walls, dirty dishes were stacked in the sink, video games were scattered across the floor as were plenty of food wrappers. On this particular morning, he was sitting alone, flat on his stomach, playing a certain game that has faced much apprehension from the female race and in ownership of the acronym COD. He chewed absently on his toast, praying his fiery fiancée wouldn't find him. A boot waited next to his elbow.

God, apparently, wasn't listening, because eventually Alice stalked in. She casually slipped her boot off her foot and hurled it at Oz's head, where it struck with freakish precision. Oz's shoulder hunched and he offered a brief rude gesture to the sky.

"Morning, Coconut Boy," She yawned, opening a cupboard and reaching up for some cereal. Oz snatched his boot from the floor and threw it back at her. It hit the bench and bounced back off.

"Morning, Crazy Bitch," Oz called back carelessly, not seeming to mind too much that his throw had been an ultimately lame one.

"Missed," Alice called back, pouring milk into her bowl.

"Have I told you I hate you?" Oz asked her earnestly.

Alice sighed as she sat down at the table. "In the last twenty-four hours? Don't think so."

"Cool. I hate you."

"Love you too, honey."

Oz shivered inwardly and opened his mouth to tease her about perhaps being eager for their being joined in holy matrimony- or, even worse, being in _love _with him- but she beat him to it. "Hey, Oz," She said, unnecessarily loudly. "Glen meets a lot with other Dukes and they talk about their… dukey stuff. How come I've never heard anything about you?"

Oz sighed. No-one had yet chosen to tell her about his spell in Abyss. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "How old are you, Alice?"

Her eyes narrowed and she spoke cautiously. "Fifteen. Why?"

"So you were born in 1996."

Alice feigned joyfulness. "Well done, Oz! You finally learned how to count, congrats."

"It's a great deal better than what I imagine you can do," Oz snapped back. "Anyway, did you ever hear Glen talking about something call Abyss?"

Alice shrugged. "In raised tones, once or twice, I think so."

Oz smacked his lips. "Yeah. It just so happens those Abyss conversations probably revolved around me. Your great-great-great granddaddy or something put this curse on the prison I was sent to a while back. Time passes differently in the prison than it does in the real world. I spent two days in that prison in 2001, when I was fifteen, but in the real world it was actually ten years. I was only released the day I met you. Therefore, I was born in 1986."

Alice took it pretty well. Oz guessed she may have eavesdropped on several of her father's Abyss conversations. It wouldn't surprise him. "So that technically makes you twenty-five."

Oz nodded. "Technically, yes."

Alice stared at him. "So that makes you a pedophile."

Oz choked on his toast and his thumbs slipped on the PlayStation controls, causing him to lose the game miserably. He turned abruptly, looking up at his passive fiancée from the floor. "WHAT?" He demanded furiously.

Alice shrugged. "Isn't it sort of obvious? You just said you're twenty-five, I just said I'm fifteen. We're due to be married by what I may add to be your uncle's suggestion. A teenager and a young adult joined in marriage. I do believe that is known as pedophilia."

"I'm fifteen!" Oz squawked shrilly.

Alice shook her head, waving her spoon at him disapprovingly. "No, no, I'm quite sure I heard you say you were twenty-five _after _I said I was fifteen."

"It's been twenty-five years since I was born, yes," Oz said, trying to keep himself from strangling her. "But there have only been fifteen of those years that I was actually conscious of and spent."

"So you're fifteen but not," Alice said slowly.

Oz sighed in frustration. "Let's just go with that."

The slightly insightful conversation probably would have gone on if Gil hadn't stepped in at that moment. He looked tired and his hair was a mess. He was still dressed in his blue and white striped pyjamas, which was unusual for him. He didn't approve of people seeing him in his pyjamas, mostly because Break made fun of him for it. There was, Oz concluded, only one logical explanation to be drawn from this.

"Several shots too many, Gil?" He called over his shoulder. Gil moaned and leaned against the doorframe wearily.

"Never again," He sighed. "I hate alcohol."

Alice snorted. "I can't imagine a lap dog like you ever being drunk. It's too rebellious."

Gil was too tired to even bother giving her a glare. "Who owns the stupid rabbit, by the way?" He asked, holding up a black rabbit toy by the ears. It was dressed in a little red poncho coat thing. Oz shook his head and Alice bothered looking over her shoulder to see what it was. She blanched and her cockiness was lost instantly. With a strangled cry she lunged for the rabbit, tearing it from his limp grasp and holding it to her chest protectively.

"How did you get this?" She screeched, piercing Oz's best friend with the hateful glare she usually just reserved for Oz.

The noise was a little too much for Gil in his hung-over state. He blinked at her in confusion. "Um…"

"THE BUNNY!" She shrieked. "WHERE DID YOU FIND THE DAMN BUNNY!"

"I don't know!" Gil whimpered, cowering for cover from Alice's fury. "I was drunk, dammit! I just woke up this morning and it was in my bed."

Oz snorted. "What did you _do _lastnight, Gil?" He grinned, winking suggestively. Gil spluttered and Alice went beetroot red.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BUNNY, YOU STUPID SEAWEED HEAD?" Alice demanded, cornering him furiously. Her voice lowered suddenly and dangerously. "If I find anything weird on my bunny, you are going down. Way down."

Gil gulped and saluted. "Yes ma'am."

Oz rolled his eyes and stood. "Aren't you a little old to be playing with toys, Alice?" He said mockingly, supporting Gil over his shoulder as he staggered away from the crazy bitch. "It's just some tatty bunny, anyway. You can buy another one."

Alice suddenly fell silent. Her head dropped and her bangs covered her face. Her voice was eerily calm. "You don't get it," She said quietly. "How could a heartless jerk like you _ever _understand."

With that, she pushed past them, shoulders shaking with concealed sobs. Oz and Gil watched her go blankly. Oz looked at Gil and shrugged, only to see that he had blacked out where he stood. With much grunting and cursing, Oz lay him down on the couch. When he stood again, he was surprised to see Break and Sharon standing in the doorway awkwardly.

"Is this a bad time?" Break called over, eyeing Gil's unconscious body on the couch. Sharon chewed her lip concernedly, peering down the hallway Alice had disappeared down.

Oz sighed, rubbing his forehead wearily. "No, no, it's fine. Come in." 


	6. Darren Shan and Fairytales

**A/N: SPOILERS FOR THE END OF THE SAGA OF DARREN SHAN SERIES! D;**

…**Other than that, s'all good :D**

It took a fair bit of navigating and wishing that she had brought bread crumbs or something to mark her way in the foreign mansion, but Sharon found Alice eventually. Following the little drama she and Break had seen unfold in the messy living room/kitchen, Sharon had taken off after Alice, leaving Break, Gil and Oz to bitch about the poor girl. True, Alice had never been too kind to Sharon the few times they had met, but Sharon still felt awfully sorry for her. She was excluded by everyone, even by her own father! She wished Oz would be at least empathetic towards her. Both the bride and the groom were on difficult terms with their fathers, were they not? If only they could get along…

Alice was curled up on a windowsill in a guest room, hugging the black rabbit toy to her chest and sobbing quietly into the rabbit's forehead. Sharon opened and closed the door quietly and walked over to Alice carefully. When Alice didn't move, Sharon sat down tentatively opposite her and touched her bare shoulder gently.

"Are you alright, Alice?" She asked quietly. Alice flinched a little and lifted her head, piercing Sharon with a watery, bloodshot glare.

"Do I look OK?" She sniffed, resting her forehead against the window sadly.

Sharon smiled weakly. "Do you want to talk?"

"Not particularly," Alice replied, swallowing hard. Sharon pressed on.

"Why are you upset?" She asked carefully. "Why is that rabbit so important?"

Alice was silent for a while, but finally spoke. "It was a present from my mum," She said quietly.

"Where is your mum?" Sharon asked suddenly. "I've never heard of the Lady Baskerville."

Alice shook her head. "There isn't one. Besides me, that is. My mum left Glen when I was only very little and left me with him. I never knew her."

Sharon smiled kindly. She knew how it felt. "What was your mother's name?"

Alice smiled a little and snuggled ever closer to the little rabbit. "Lacie," She said quietly, her voice somewhat muffled by the rabbit's forehead.

"What a lovely name," Sharon gushed, then, more seriously, "Why did she leave?"

"I don't know," Alice admitted. "I never knew I even had a mum until I asked one of the maids about it when I was younger. Glen never spoke of her. Hardly spoke to me, either, when I was growing up. Then one day I really pissed him off and he yelled at me and hit me. He said I was too much like my mother and told me he hated me and that I was good-for-nothing. That's why I hate him. He never let me meet Lacie."

"Is that why you call him Glen instead of 'Dad' or something?" Sharon probed. "Because you don't think of him as a father." Alice nodded. "The same thing happened to Oz, you know," Sharon pressed on carefully. "Break told me about it once. Oz spent his entire childhood being the best he could be to impress his father and make Lord Vessalius proud of him, but one day when he came home he told Oz he hated him. That's why Oz is how he is. He created trouble everywhere he went because he wanted to shame his father. I don't imagine you have much opportunity to humiliate Lord Baskerville, given that he locks you up all the time, but you get the idea." More quietly, she added, "You're more similar to Oz than you think."

Alice flushed but otherwise ignored her comment. "You never call Break 'Dad' either, though. What's behind that?"

Sharon blushed a little too and shrugged, looking away. "I dunno, I just… I guess I've never really thought of Break as a father to me. He's more like my best friend, really. He was young when I was born, so there's not a very big age gap. He stands up for me but he makes fun of me too. I have a lot of responsibility, too. I take care of most things in the house. He's more of a child than me, sometimes." Sharon sighed and smiled a little. "I guess I've always wanted a fairytale life, y'know? A perfect family. I mean, in the books, there's always this one kid who has the crappiest life ever but they have a really nice parent that makes everything better. Break just… He's just not the parenting type. He was married five times!" Sharon chewed her lip, wondering whether she should continue. Apparently she decided to. "Break didn't even want me, the first time I turned up on his doorstep," Sharon said quietly. "He wanted nothing to do with children. He just wanted to play around, taking life for granted. Obviously, he took me in eventually, but he still always makes me ashamed of myself. I always feel bad, like I'm wasting his time or something."

Sharon noticed that Alice was staring at her in utter mystification. "What are fairytales?" She enquired innocently, having finally stopped crying.

Sharon smiled gently. "They're happy stories," She explained. "There are usually princes and princesses and a wicked witch or a dragon or something. Things are usually bad, but then everything becomes perfect in the end. If life was a fairytale, we wouldn't have bombings and murders all over the place. Did you hear about the Prince's recent marriage to that commoner?" Alice shook her head. "That was kind of like a fairytale. Prince Will lived in a palace, and he was… well, he was a prince. He had everything. This girl he married, Kate Middleton, she was just an ordinary woman. And now she's married to the man she lives and living in royalty. That's what a fairytale is."

Alice wrinkled her nose. "That's silly."

Sharon blinked. She hadn't been expecting that. "Pardon?"

"The notion of fairytales," Alice explained. "Life isn't like that. They're just pulling wool over the reader's eyes to make them believe that everything will be OK. That's not how things happen. Shit happens, and you have to take it, prince or no prince."

"What novels do you read, Alice?" Sharon asked, a little embarrassed.

Alice shrugged and gestured to the bed in the corner. Sharon followed her hand and saw a stack of books. Craning her neck, she saw the title of one. "Darren Shan," She repeated to herself. "I've heard of those. What happens in the end?"

"The good guy gets killed in the end for trusting the wrong people," Alice said bluntly. "That's how life really works."

Awkward silence fell until finally Sharon stood. Determination flashed in her pink eyes. "I'm glad we had this talk, Alice," She smiled. Alice watched her blankly.

"Are you leaving?" She asked almost eagerly.

Sharon nodded, her mouth a grim slash of determination. "I need to talk to Oz."

Alice shrugged and sighed. "Good luck with that. "He only really hears what he wants to hear."

"Well then I'm going to have a tough time getting through to him," Sharon almost growled as she left the room. Alice peered after her curiously, then shrugged and dismissed it.

"Fairytales…" She muttered to herself. "Well I never."


	7. An Insightful Conversation, Part II

Sharon found her way back to Oz's messy living room/kitchen alright. Gil and Break had departed, no doubt because Gil had had enough of Break's harmless teasing and Break had followed him spitefully. Oz was alone, whistling cheerily to himself as he made something that looked a bit like burnt scones. She poked her head around he door curiously.

"Busy?" She smiled tentatively. Oz's head snapped up and his face brightened when he saw her standing in the doorway.

"Not at all," He smiled, shaking his head and pushing the charred scones aside. "Come in, come in. Do you want something to eat?"

Sharon eyed the black heap on his plate. Somehow she doubted Oz's cooking skills. "I'm quite alright, thank you," She said tartly. "Look, Oz, I want to talk about Alice."

If this annoyed Oz, he hid it very well beneath a charming smile. "Now, Sharon," He said softly. "There's no need to talk about what needs not to be spoken about, now is there?" She brushed a lock of her chestnut hair behind her ear and she blushed madly. His hand snaked to hers and yanked her ever closer so his lips were at her ear. "My, Sharon," He whispered. "You're really too pretty for sweats and trackpants, you know that?"

Sharon slammed her hand into his face before things went any further. He stumbled back into the kitchen bench, rubbing his nose painfully. He glared at her. "What was that for?" He demanded.

"I'm here to talk about Alice," Sharon repeated, still a little flushed. "Who, I might remind you, is your fiancée."

Oz rolled his eyes. "Break was right," He grumbled. "You're such a spoilsport."

Sharon quaked inside. Break… The man was ruthless. She pushed on regardless. "Look, Oz, I really think… I really think it's time for a change."

Oz pulled a face and looked away, folding his arms decisively. "She's the problem here, not me," Oz said huffily.

"You're both the problem," Sharon countered. "I've already spoken to Alice. That rabbit… That rabbit is really very important to her, Oz. She's a person, as much as you are. I know she seems rude and condescending and impossible most of the time, but she's really very soft inside and insecure. She won't let anyone help her because she's probably too proud. I think this marriage- being close to someone- will be really good for her. She's so lost, Oz…" Sharon trailed off, then resumed again with a fiery glare in Oz's direction. "Oz, I want you to go talk to her and have a proper civil conversation with her. You are due to be married in two weeks and I will not watch my father's best friend be married with a scowl on his face."

"But Sharon…" Oz whined, slightly reminiscent of a young child.

Sharon pointed to the door, pink eyes fiery. "Go."

With a sigh, Oz hopped down from the bench and trudged out of the room with slumped shoulders. He turned to look at Sharon with big eyes just before he left the room, but Sharon ignored him. He sighed again and slid out into the corridor, closing the door behind him.

Sharon slumped in relief in the kitchen. She was _never _confronting Oz again.

Unlike Sharon, Oz knew where Alice's allocated room was. His guess was eventually Oscar would see how stupid it was to cart her to and from the Baskerville mansion and just let her stay overnight. It'd be a pain in the ass when the time came, so it was all Oz could do now to just live in the moment where Alice was not a permanent resident. He knocked on the door and waited, hoping she wasn't in. She didn't reply, but he did hear the sound of someone inside. With a sigh and a brief prayer he pushed the door open and slid in, smiling uncertainly. "Hey, Alice," He said awkwardly as he shut the door behind him. "You OK?"

"I was fine before you came in," Alice snapped, but Oz could see that her eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot. She hadn't been lying when she ran out before. His eyes fell on the black bunny clutched to her chest protectively. He moved to sit opposite her on the window sill and positioned himself so they were almost mirror images of each other. Alice's nose wrinkled a little at the close proximity, but she accepted it and overall ignored it.

"Sorry about the rabbit," He said earnestly. He couldn't quite decide why, but something about the entire incident bothered him. "Was it a gift from your father or something?"

Alice snorted. "As if," She muttered, looking out the window wistfully. "Glen would never give me anything, not even on Christmas." She paused and Oz was about to say something when she continued. "Mum gave it to me, when I was born."

Oz gave her an odd look. "Aren't birth presents from parents usually a joint thing?"

Alice shrugged. "Maybe. I wouldn't know. Glen never took responsibility for it. I asked about it once, and he just told me it was from Lacie and not to ask stupid questions. Turns out, Lacie was my mother. She left when I was little, but he never told me why. He said I was too much like my mum. Maybe that's why he hates me. He never talks about Lacie." Alice shrugged. "I dunno. I hate him."

Oz smiled a little and rested his forehead against the cold window glass. "That's funny," He said quietly. "My dad did the same thing. Sort of. My mum was murdered when I was a kid, and my dad was never at home." He laughed half-heartedly to himself. "I spent so long trying to be perfect for him," He remembered. "Whenever he wasn't at home, I was always studying or something so he'd be proud of me when he got back. Ever since I was a kid, Zai was always so cold to me. I thought, maybe if I'm really good, he'll pay attention to me. Maybe he'll love me." He paused, then chuckled again. "Guess not. He came home one day and I was so scared because I'd begun to entertain the possibility that maybe he did hate me. Gil went out to confront him and was pushed aside. I told Zai to stop and he hit me and told me I was filth or something. Gil was locked away for three days and I was grounded, sort of. When Gil came back… That was when I started screwing up. I was just so mad, I… I just wanted him to be embarrassed because of his stupid son." Oz looked out at the landscape thoughtfully. "I suppose now the only person I was embarrassing was myself," He mused.

"If he hates you," Alice piped in. "Why did he allow our engagement? I thought that was your ticket out of Abyss."

"He didn't," Oz shook his head. "Oscar did. Oscar is pretty much my dad now. He's the only person who really cares."

"I've never known anyone that cares," Alice said carelessly. "I never met Lacie, and for all I know she's as bad as Glen. Glen hates me, the maids are forbidden to speak to me. Echo's just Echo. She doesn't know any better and she hardly talks. We used to play, but she's like a rag doll. Just quiet… useless… unsure of herself…" Alice smiled a little to herself. "Sorta like me, I guess."

Oz smiled too. "Sounds a lot like Gil," He mused. "He's a great guy and all, but he's such a crybaby. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I would never have believed that Gil had grown up." Oz paused. "Well, he's grown up physically," He corrected himself. "Not so much mentally, I think."

"I didn't even meet Echo until a few years ago," Alice admitted. "I had a really crappy childhood. No games, no friends, no toys, no _fairytales. _A few maids who felt sorry for me taught me how to read and write but they were fired for their trouble. Glen always made me feel bad about myself, on the rare occasion he actually spoke to me. If he ever found me goofing around in the mansion, he'd tell me to grow up. I spend a lot of my time now trying to make up for the childhood he stole from me, but if he catches me he tells me to act my own age and that I'll never be a proper Lady if I keep this up." She looked at Oz for the first time since he had walked in. "The day we met I was finger painting. That's where all the stains came from."

Oz looked back at her and cocked an eyebrow curiously. "Is this a competition to see who had the most depressing childhood or something?" He asked with a grin.

Alice grinned back. "When are we _not _having a competition?"

Oz nodded. She had a point. "You still cheated in that race," He pointed out jokingly.

Alice snorted. "You're just a sore loser."

"You're a bad winner," Oz shot back, but not hurtfully for once.

"But a winner nonetheless," Alice said quietly, eyes suddenly turning soft. She leaned in and Oz felt her hot breath brushing his face. He didn't reply: her lavender eyes had sucked him in and he moved forward, closer to those never-ending pits that drew him ever closer to the girl he… hated? He couldn't decide. His thoughts whirled in a confused clutter as they leaned in ever-closer…


	8. Trifles

**A/N: Warning, kids. Getting slightly adult around about here, but this should be about it. Just playing around with Oz's playboy side, that's all. Bwahaha.**

"Do you have any idea what this _means_, Gil?" Oz cried in despair, tugging at the roots of his golden hair.

Gil looked at him with a raised eyebrow, chewing on the end of an unlit cigarette with the air of the unimpressed. "Apart from a happy marriage? No. I really don't."

Oz didn't spare the time to roll his eyes at his unhelpful manservant. Every time he blinked, the scene replayed itself on the inside of his eyelids.

_Literally split seconds before critical contact, Oz realized what he was doing. His eyes shot open and the first things he saw were the equally wide, understandably alarmed purple eyes of his psycho fiancée. For a few awkward seconds that seemed to stretch on forever, they sat there, teetering on the brink of balance and staring in absolute surprise into each other's eyes. When they spoke, they spoke together and in a somewhat flustered, hurried tone._

"_I've gotta go," Oz mumbled breathlessly._

"_Bathroom," Alice mumbled back, almost in agreement. Almost in unison, they shot from the windowsill and went their separate ways. The black bunny was thrown to the floor and forgotten, and the door to Alice's ensuite and the door to her bedroom slammed shut in unison._

_Oz sank down where he lay, eyes wide and chest heaving. What the hell was that? They were just talking, and then, and then… Oz didn't want to believe that he had actually attempted to kiss a woman who, not only still had all of her clothes on, but was also the woman he claimed to despise, but there was no other real explanation. Trembling and sick with self disgust, Oz rose to his feet and staggered down the staircase._

"_GIL…!"_

"Oh, you have no idea, Gil," Oz said quietly, almost fearfully. Gil sat forward in his chair, shaking his head confusedly.

"OK, so let's just go over this one more time for the hungover guy," He said firmly. "So you guys were talking about your childhood and then Alice tried to kiss you?"

"Much worse than that," Oz said darkly, collapsing belly-first on the couch. "We tried to kiss each other. Do you know what this _means_?" He repeated, exasperated.

Gil was tired of the guessing games. "Pray tell."

"It means," Oz said slowly. "It means, dare I say it, that I may actually be _emotionally bound_ to someone."

That one surprised Gil and his dark eyebrows shot up. "No way," He breathed. Oz wasn't the type of guy to become 'emotionally bound' to any woman. He was sort of more into the hit-and-run thing. Gil didn't think that Oz had actually ever been in a real, lasting relationship with another human being.

"Way," Oz agreed grimly. "Firstly, we both tried to kiss each other. Secondly, she was still wearing all of her clothes at the time."

The clothes one was a big thing for Oz. "I thought you hated her," Gil said, brows furrowed.

"So did I!" Oz exclaimed, alive for a second before slumping again. "I can't believe this is seriously happening," He muttered, mostly to himself. Silence settled for a few moments, but then Oz's head shot up again and his emerald eyes glittered with determination. "Get dressed, Gil," Oz said emptily. "You're driving."

"Driving where?" Gil whined. He really didn't feel like driving anywhere right now.

"We're going to see Lotti," Oz said over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him.

Gil stared at the shut door for a few moments, the moaned and threw his head back.

He really didn't like going to see Lotti.

The black Bentley pulled up at the back doors of a dark little house in an abandoned alleyway. Oz hoped she wasn't working today. She usually wasn't working today, but one could never be sure.

Gil looked at his young charge wearily. "Can I wait here?" He asked unhappily. "I still have a really bad headache and driving doesn't help."

Oz waved his hand dismissively over his shoulder at he moved towards the house. He felt a little funny in his stomach, like foreboding or something. Why? This had never happened before. He was determined to make this trip worthwhile. "Whatever," He mumbled absently. Gil sighed in relief and rolled the windows up. His young charge could hang around with shady types with Lotti as long as he liked, as long as Gil got a nap and wasn't seen in a black car outside _this _house.

Oz knocked on the door and put on his best innocent face when a masked foreign-looking woman answered. "I'm here to see Lotti," He sang. "I have a message for her."

The lady looked doubtful- as far as Oz could tell, because of the mask and all- but she stepped aside and let him in. Oz went up two flights of rickety old stairs and past several old doors until he came to number forty-three. He knocked once, didn't wait for a reply and stepped in.

The room was dark and the curtains were drawn. Candles were lit and incense was heavy in the air. An old-fashioned four-poster bed was in the corner and the sheets were messy and unmade. A mask not unlike the one the woman had been wearing at the door lay abandoned on the floor. The door swung shut behind him and Oz heard the sound of wine being poured.

"You haven't changed a bit, Oz," A chuckling female voice said quietly from a corner. Oz turned and smiled when he saw a young girl with rose eyes and matching hair standing in the corner in a small tight-fitting dress.

"Neither have you," Oz smiled amiably, hiding his curiosity and ignoring the sick little feeling still stirring in his stomach.

The girl in the corner laughed. "You're not the only one who's spent their fair share in Abyss." She passed him a glass of red wine as she walked past him and settled herself down, lying lengthways on a lounge. She pierced him with a saucy stare. "So tell me, Oz," She said softly. "I imagine you had a hard time in Abyss."

Oz sat down opposite her coolly. "Rather lonely," He admitted, casting her a sidelong stare.

Lotti giggled. "Of course." She craned her neck forward, tracing Oz's jaw with a silky finger. Oz leant forward too, his stomach apparently having a trampoline party in his belly. Angry at himself, he pulled Lotti towards him roughly, determined to get this done. This wasn't normal, and if it was what he thought it was then he really, _really _wanted to go through with this. Lotti was surprised but didn't resist and as Oz watched her lips near his he felt the blood rush to his face and he suddenly became sweaty and clammy, which set off warning bells right away. He was usually very smooth around women. As only centimetres lingered between them, Lotti paused and waited. Oz hesitated, mentally attempting to force himself to kiss her. Why should it matter? She was just another girl.

"Nope," He said suddenly. Lotti's eyes flickered open and pierced him with a questioning stare. "Can't do it. Sorry."

Oz stood up and Lotti fell to the carpet, unsupported. "What the hell are you doing?" She demanded angrily, rubbing her nose painfully where she had landed.

"I forgot to tell you," Oz grinned over his shoulder as he opened the door. "I have a fiancée."

The door clicked shut. Lotti slumped and cursed him quietly. Oz threw himself down two flights of stairs and hurled out the back door, catapulting himself into the car next to Gil where he promptly slammed his forehead onto the dashboard hopelessly. Gil, who had been attempting to sleep, cracked one eye open and looked at him curiously. "That was quick," He probed.

"Home," Oz moaned. "Now."

Gil grinned to himself as he started the car. "Couldn't do it?"

Oz moaned again. "Don't remind me, just drive."


	9. A Friend

The next morning was surprisingly silent.

Oz was flat out on the carpet in his living room on his stomach again, fiddling aimlessly with the PlayStation controls. After a while, Alice entered and saw Oz. Her shoulders hunched and she made a quiet squeaking noise before swallowing and advancing into the room. She clumsily slid her boot from her foot and tossed it at Oz's head, but it hardly made it over the bench and fell lamely. "Mmph," She mumbled, more to herself than anyone else.

Oz heard her enter and paled a little. He tugged Gil's shoe from his foot and threw it over his shoulder lazily, but it went straight up and fell right back down on top of his skull. Alice did not tease him because of his clumsiness or tease him for his misfortunes. Gil looked up from his newspaper, amber eyes darting between Oz and Alice in confusion. When he was sure Alice wasn't looking, he leaned forward and hissed into Oz's ear. "Dude," He whispered. "You _need _to talk to her."

Oz didn't even look at him. "No," He replied bluntly. "I really don't."

Gil rolled his eyes angrily. "So what, you're just going to spend matrimony in silence?"

Oz considered it, the nodded. "Yeah. I guess so."

Gil whacked Oz's head irritably. "You can't keep this up," He hissed. "Just admit it to yourself. You like Alice. If you're going to be married, isn't that a good thing?"

"Firstly, I can most certainly keep this up," Oz snapped back. "Secondly, I have admitted it to myself. Sort of."

"'Sort of' isn't good enough!" Gil replied sharply. "You have two weeks before you get married to her, and if I have to drink myself stupid to be the life of your wedding so help me I will."

Oz looked at him questioningly, a hint of a smile returning to his face. "You're a little over-eager, aren't you?"

Gil rolled his eyes again. "Whatever. Just talk to her, OK? Silence is even more annoying than you guys fighting."

Oz sighed and threw the console down in annoyance. "Fine," He grumbled. "I'll talk to her."

Gil's face broke out in a smile, but it disappeared just as quickly when Oz picked up the console again. "As soon as I finish this game."

With a frustrated sigh and yet another roll of the eye, Gil shook his head and sat back in his seat again, resuming his avid newspaper reading.

Of course, Oz wasn't the only one with problems…

Alice sank down against the shut bathroom door, chest ballooning with breath. What the hell just happened? She didn't even know. They were just talking and she blinked and when she opened her eyes again Oz was right there, in front of her face, in awfully close proximity. Alice's hands trembled. She had _never _been close to anyone. On that day when Glen, her own father, had betrayed her, she made up her mind to never become close to anyone ever again. She didn't want to be trampled on again. She had spent so long thinking that there must be something wrong with her if her own father hated her and locked her up. She had spent so many nights crying for Lacie and wishing she could have a mother to tell her everything was OK. That rabbit was all she had left…

_That rabbit._

Alice was afraid to face Oz again, but she didn't want to be alone now. She darted out of the bathroom and sprawled out on the floor, reaching for her abandoned bunny on the carpet. She noted with some relief that Oz was gone and snatched the bunny into her grasp, curling up into a ball and squeezing it tight to her chest. She had never been this scared before. What was happening to her? She _hated _Oz. She hated everyone. She set up her own defensive walls behind a rude demeanour so she couldn't become emotionally bound to anyone. Her default first impressions all became bad ones and she convinced herself that her first impressions were right. She was so sure that she hated Oz, and now she had just tried to kiss him. Her heart felt like it was about to explode in her chest and her hands were suddenly clammy and her face was hot and cold all at the same time. A single tear rolled down Alice's cheek: what was happening to her? She couldn't cope with all these strange, alien emotions. She was scared. She hated this. She wanted to go back home, far away from all of this bullshit. Her tear slid down her face and was absorbed into the cloth of the rabbit's head, and Alice caught herself. What was this? She never showed any emotion. She hadn't cried since she was five. She swore a lot and got angry openly and often, but most of the time that was just charades so no-one would want to become close to her.

_I've never had a friend before._

Is that what Oz was to her now? Her first friend? Alice had only just lamented her terrible childhood, but now curled up in a pathetic heap on the floor she realized that this was her own fault. If she had not been so paranoid of everyone and maybe just a little bit trusting, she might have opened herself up to people. She might have been nice. People might have been nice back to her.

What just happened with Oz… he was being _nice _to her. He was talking to her like she had never criticized him. And the clown's daughter, Sharon. She was so nice before… Why? Why were they all being so nice to her? If her past with her parents had taught Alice anything, it was that she wasn't worth it. Glen hadn't loved her enough to stay with her and make the effort, and Lacie… Alice always wanted to meet her, but how was she to know that Lacie wasn't as bad, if not worse, than Glen? She had always heard things on the little radio a maid had once snuck her about mothers who suddenly had amazing bursts of strength and lifted cars off their children or whatever. She had this whole image of Lacie built up in her mind of someone who would lift cars for her, someone who would care about her and make her cake when she was sad. That was all Alice wanted. A friend.

The next morning, Alice was still confused. Determined to uphold appearances, she had attempted to continue as before with Oz, but her heart wasn't in it. Every time she looked at him, she wondered if she was looking at her first ever friend. How could she have been so mean to him? For all she knew, he really was trying his best for her and Alice was just being ungrateful and rude in return. Of course, there was always the possibility that he was just like Glen, hiding behind false appearances, ready to promise he'd catch her and then step aside when the time came. Alice didn't want to fall like that again. What Glen had done to her… She doubted that anything else had hurt her as much as that did. Oz was more similar to her than she cared to admit and he could just be the only person in the world that might understand her. She had always wanted someone like that. A friend, someone she could lean on and tell everything to. She looked at Oz and Gil muttering to each other on the carpet and felt an odd pang in her stomach. She heard her name being thrown back and forth between them and fury suddenly swelled in her heart. There you go. She had just began trusting Oz and now here he was, whispering about her when he thought she wasn't listening. Oh, she was listening. Did he have any idea that he had just trampled all over her once again? The more Alice thought about it, the more all of his insults annoyed her. She didn't know why. She didn't know anything right now. She just wanted to run away.

So she did.

Oz was jerked from his thoughts when the door slammed shut. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the door was, indeed, closed, and also that Alice was gone. He looked at Gil curiously. "What just happened?" He enquired innocently.

"Jeez, Oz, I dunno," Gil said as though handling a child. "Maybe Alice got pissed for God knows whatever reason and ran out of the room."

Oz shrugged and turned back to his game. "Probably something you said."


	10. My Happy Ending

When Alice ran away, she didn't go back to her room.

It took a fair bit of backtracking and problem solving and asking confused little maids for directions, but eventually Alice found her way back to the main foyer where wedding preparations were still being made. Her stomach did a sickening flip-flop but she brushed past the decorations like she didn't notice them, heading instead towards the chestnut head of an over-excited teenager with butterfly clips in her hair.

Alice grabbed Sharon's shoulder and pulled her back sharply. Sharon gasped in surprise but brightened when she saw just who it was that was doing the pulling. "Alice!" She gushed happily, clapping her hands together enthusiastically. Alice was beginning to have second thoughts and it had barely been seven seconds. Sharon's face then quickly fell and Alice wondered if she had shown her distaste too obviously, but these worries were replaced by speculation over whether or not Sharon had telepathic abilities. "What's wrong, Alice? You look upset."

Alice tugged on Sharon's sleeve awkwardly. "Can we go somewhere else?" She asked nervously, shooting the wedding planners an evil look. "Those banners piss me off."

Sharon's nose wrinkled a little at Alice's language, but she nodded once and let Alice lead them off to an empty corridor. When they stopped, Sharon looked at Alice questioningly. "Did you want something?"

Alice sat down abruptly, resting her back against the wall. "You've read heaps of those fairytales, right?"

Sharon smiled proudly and sat opposite Alice. "Sure have," She agreed. "Why do you ask?"

"Tell me one."

Sharon blinked, surprised. "Pardon?"

"Tell me a fairytale," Alice explained as though Sharon were two days old. "Please," She added hurriedly.

"Um… OK, well, once there was a maid called Cinderella who had an evil stepmother and two ugly stepsisters and the Prince was having a ball one night and Cinderella was not allowed to go but her magical fairy godmother appeared and granted her a wish and she went to the ball but the spell wore off at midnight and as she was running away she dropped her glass slipper and the Prince went around town trying to find the girl whose foot fit the slipper and he found Cinderella and when the shoe fit her foot he married her and they lived happily ever after." It was a long, clumsy, breathless sentence, and Alice rejected it bluntly.

"That's stupid," She sniffed. "Why does everyone end up getting married? There is no such thing as a happy ending. Are there any other fairytales that end realistically?"

"Well… no," Sharon admitted. "In all of the fairytales the bad guy usually ends up hurt or dead or something and the others live happily ever after. And it doesn't need to be realistic, it's a fairytale."

Alice's nose wrinkled. "I don't like it."

Silence fell.

"Then why did you ask me to tell it?" Sharon asked.

Alice shrugged. "I wanted to know what a happy ending sounded like."

"Well, you see Alice, that usually depends on the person," Sharon said pointedly. "_My _happy ending, for instance, would probably involve my father acting like a real father. _Your _happy ending may be something completely different." Something clicked in Sharon's head suddenly and she cocked her head to one side. "What _is _your happy ending, Alice?"

The Alice in question fell silent suddenly and refused to meet Sharon's eyes. Sharon suddenly became very excited and seemed to almost vibrate with anticipation. "Does it involve Oz?" She blurted without thinking. She didn't waver when Alice nailed her with a deadly stare. Probably because it suddenly faltered and fell.

"I don't know," Alice admitted quietly. "Maybe. It's just… Sharon, what I'm about to tell you you have to promise not to tell anyone else."

Sharon held out one arm, little finger outstretched. Alice looked at it queerly. "Pinkie promise?" Sharon offered. Alice didn't show any signs of comprehension. "It's a special kind of promise," Sharon explained. "I won't break it. You hook your little finger around mine and it's an official promise."

And so Alice made her first pinkie promise.

"The other day, after you left," Alice began in hushed tones. "Oz came up and we were just talking about how we grew up and stuff and it was kind of nice and then we sort of tried to kiss each other."

Sharon unleashed an unbelievably feminine squeal and her feet slammed against the floor madly with excitement. Alice slapped her head abruptly, forcing Sharon to hold it in. "_Almost_," Alice reminded her. "Then we both sort of came around and he left and I bolted."

Sharon squealed again, mercifully quiet this time. "That's so _cute_!" She cooed. "Have you spoken to him since?"

"That's the thing," Alice explained. "I saw him this morning, but I just couldn't make myself talk to him. And he didn't seem particularly keen either. It's just… Every time I look at him I go all hot and cold all at the same time and I don't know what to say. It's really weird. Is there something wrong with me?"

Sharon's face suddenly split into a wide smile that made Alice shudder. "Oh, Alice," She said softly, lovingly, reaching for her hands. "I'd dare to venture a guess that you'd be in _love _with Oz."

Alice snatched her hands away and turned her nose up at Sharon, cheeks furiously red. "Am not!" She denied angrily. "It's just _awkward_. What sort of pea-brained creature could possibly love a jerk like him?"

Sharon was still smiling. It was scary. "Love makes us do strange things, Alice," she said quietly. With a quiet scream, Alice stood suddenly.

"You're mushy," She told Sharon accusingly. "I _hate _Oz Vessalius! So much so that I think I'll find him now and tell him just how much I hate him."

Alice turned smartly on her heel and marched down the hall with purpose. Sharon watched her go and laughed quietly to herself, shaking her head.

Once Alice had rounded the corner and was positive Sharon couldn't see her, she paused. Once again, she had absolutely no clue as to where she was going. She considered going back and asking Sharon for directions, but she couldn't bring herself to face that romantic maniac again. No, she would find her own way around here. Striding with purpose, she set off down the halls once more, twisting and turning at every corner until finally she saw a familiar face.

"VESSALIUS!" She roared, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach furiously. Oz, who was down the other end of the hall, turned to see her with an apparent degree of surprise. She stormed over to him furiously, but suddenly faltered when they were actually face to face. She noticed for the first time that he was a good head taller than her. They were so close… Alice could just fall into his arms now. She didn't know why, but she just wanted to know what it was like to actually hug someone.

_If I ever hug anyone_, Alice thought with a growl. _It certainly won't be this dipshit._

Alice noticed, however, with some pleasure, that Oz was just as unsure as she was. "Look, Oz, we need to talk."

At the very same time, Oz said, "Alice, I just wanted to say-"

The both stopped and laughed awkwardly. "You go," They both offered together.

"Ladies first," Oz challenged quickly, face ruby red.

"Gentlemen accept the lady's offer," Alice blurted back, and after a second of just staring into each other's eyes they laughed again.

"Look, about yesterday-" Oz began suddenly.

"It was an almost moment," Alice interrupted quickly.

"Meant nothing at all," Oz agreed with an efficient nod.

They smiled at each other fleetingly. "Uh, great," Oz smiled weakly. "I'm glad we, uh, sorted that out."

"Same," Alice mumbled back. They turned around in unison and began down the halls. Oz had just rounded the corner when he heard Alice's voice drifting down to him again.

"Oz?"

He poked his head around the corner and saw Alice's head floating around her corner, face sheepish. "I don't know where I'm going," Alice confessed.

Oz laughed and disappeared around the corner again. "Down here!" He called over his shoulder. "Follow me."


	11. Crash and Burn

**A/N: Sorry for the recent lack of update -.-" Ya know how it gets with Peter Pan… ;) Anyway, sorry for the filler-ish chapter. I'll get the plot back on track soon. Also, something that I forgot to mention a good ten chapters ago- I don't own Pandora Hearts. ^w^**

The next few days were blissful.

Alice and Oz did not fight, apart from the odd mocking tease every now and again. They played together and taught each other things about the world they had both missed out on in one way or another. Oz finally got around to showing Alice around the city, and the smile that lit up her face all day was impossible to break. Gil had never been more relaxed and Alice started talking to other people, and in a polite manner too. Alice began coming earlier and earlier and went home later and later, sometimes crashing on the couch in front of a movie with Oz. They were not quite a happy couple gushing over their wedding preparations, far from it. But at least they were friends.

Or, at least, they were until it began raining.

Break and Sharon had taken to spending their days at the Vessalius mansion. Oz had never enquired as to what Break had done with his life- where he lived, what he did for a living and so on- but he figured he must've been pretty bored if he liked spending his days watching his best friend and his fiancée fight all the time. Not that Oz didn't like his company, not at all. On the odd occasion Alice let her guard down and Sharon got too close and whisked her off to wherever foreign world resided in Sharon's head, Gil, Break and Oz would often sit down and talk about anything. Mostly the things Oz had missed out on in his time away. They'd laugh and eat, and laugh some more when Alice walked in in a cute little dress and her hair all up in bows .

It had been one such afternoon when the peace was shattered.

It had been raining hard all day. When everyone got bored of watching movies and playing video games, Sharon brought out the Twister. Everyone agreed to play except Break, who never really disagreed, but Oz could hardly imagine him playing Twister anyway. He was good at Hide and Seek- he had a freaky talent for appearing and disappearing and reappearing again in odd places- but otherwise he pretty much sucked at everything else.

It hadn't taken long for the other four to get into a horribly tangled mess. Alice was constantly grumbling about the lack of movement 'this bloody dress' gave her, which made everyone else laugh for her misfortunes. Having never played a game like Twister before, Alice wasn't quite clear on the rules and had a habit of sitting down on someone's head when she couldn't stretch her body anymore. Eventually they got the rules into her head and she played like everyone else. Break never played but contented himself to be the caller of positions, though Oz had a sneaking suspicion he had almost completely disregarded the spinner. There was no way a spinner that relied on chance could put them all in the most unfortunate of positions so many times in a row, but Oz said nothing because he was too stretched to get much oxygen into his lungs.

At one point, when Oz was moving position, Alice jokingly smacked his backside. Oz laughed and waved his behind mockingly in her face, which made everyone else feel incredibly awkward. Informalities aside, the game continued as normal. When it was Sharon's turn to move into an awkward position, Oz wolf-whistled-

And was rewarded with the full weight of Alice's on his back.

With a muffled cry, Oz collapsed immediately and the wind was knocked from his stomach. Everyone else's heads turned in surprise, but no-one was more shocked than Oz.

"Alice," He wheezed. "What are you doing? We told you, you're not—"

"Supposed to sit on people, I know," She snapped, in the same rude manner as before. "And I told _you _that you're not supposed to flirt with the clown's daughter, and here we are."

Oz rolled his eyes in exasperation. "I was _kidding_, Alice!" There was something else on the tip of his tongue to add on to that, but he refrained.

"No you weren't," Alice snorted. "I'm not an idiot."

"No, you're not," Oz agreed. "You're just paranoid. I was kidding, Alice. Get off me."

"A hundred bucks says I'm right," Alice declared, disregarding Oz's last comment (which was almost a complement).

"A thousand says you're not!" Oz shot back, to show just how confident he was in himself. He actually had been kidding- ever since that 'almost' moment with Alice, he was still unable to fool around with any other woman. He wouldn't tell Alice that. She'd probably blog it.

Alice snorted. "Cough it up, Coconut Boy," She smirked confidently. She hadn't called Oz a Coconut Boy for a few days now. "Boldness won't get you anywhere."

Oz sighed. He knew better than to fight with Alice. They would just be running around in circles until Alice got tired, while Gil and Sharon strained to stay in their positions and watch the unfolding drama at the same time. "Gil."

It took a few awkward, picky seconds as Gil untangled himself from Sharon, but finally he was dragging Alice off his young charge's back. She did not struggle, but she did not stop smirking at Oz knowingly as she was dragged away, because apparently she was right. Oz hated to be the one to give up, but the only way to make Alice change her mind was to give her meat, and she had eaten most of the mansion's meat supplies already. He would let her sit on it, he decided. And if she was still stubborn… Oz'd try to make it up. Somehow.

Until then, he stood wearily and sent Break and Sharon off. Break smiled a funny smile at Oz as he waltzed out, but Oz didn't take it too seriously. You could never be too sure with Xerxes Break, man or boy. Oz collapsed in an armchair, thinking over what had just happened. Several thoughts began to occur to him, making him sit up just that little straighter in his seat. Then…

"GIL!"

"…And then she _sat _on me!" Oz said in exasperation. Gil sighed and rubbed his forehead, chewing once more on a cigarette as he tended to do when he was stressed.

"I know. I was there."

Oz blinked and looked at Gil as though he were an alien, then laughed absently. "Oh, yes, so you were. But you see here, Gil, this just shows that she may be emotionally bound to me as well!"

Gil looked up questioningly. "So you're admitting that you love her now?"

Oz snorted. "Nothing of the sort," He declared. "She's just… _different _from all the other girls I've known. She doesn't swoon whenever I walk into a room. It's interesting."

Gil rolled his eyes. "You can pretend to be heartless as long as you like, we both know you like her."

"Do not!" Oz snapped.

"Do so," Gil replied lazily. "Most normal couples fight, particularly married ones. She has come to the mansion every day since you met and she follows you around everywhere, but you never tell her otherwise. You can't cheat on her for anyone else and you go uncharacteristically quiet and shy when she's around. Furthermore, there's that almost moment you had in her room-"

"Enough!" Oz interrupted, reddening a little. He glared at Gil in annoyance. "It's not like you to stick up for what you believe in."

Gil shrugged. "A few months on the street teaches you otherwise."

Oz smiled a little despite himself. "I forgot about that. You must've been pretty cut up, huh?"

"I s'pose. Did you have something else to add to your argument?" Gil obviously didn't want to talk about it, and Oz respected that.

"Mainly that Alice is being paranoid," Oz shrugged. "Which indicates that she may me emotionally bound or interested in me too."

Gil sighed and sat forward. "OK, so just bear with me here and don't interrupt. If you guys both like each other, I don't see why you don't just get along and have a happy marriage together. Wouldn't that be easier?"

Oz snorted. "Peaceful marriage is _boring_," He sniffed disdainfully. "If fighting with Alice every other day is the only way to keep it interesting, so be it." He smirked then. "Besides. She's cute when she's angry."

"Don't you ever feel bad when you piss her off?" Gil cocked an eyebrow questioningly. Oz shrugged, turning away from him.

"I dunno," He answered carefully, even though he most certainly did know. "Why?"

Gil didn't pursue it. He knew stubbornness when he saw it. "No reason," He replied airily. "Just pondering over whether or not you actually have a conscience."

Oz rolled his eyes unappreciatively. "You're hilarious, Gilbert. Do you have any constructive ideas to contribute or are you just going to keep criticizing me?"

Gil sighed and lit his cigarette. Oz wrinkled his nose but said nothing. "The female mind is a force to be reckoned with, Oz."

Oz snorted in disbelief. "Since when were _you_ the expert?"

Gil smirked knowingly, suddenly confident. "Where've you been the last ten years? I am a foremost expert on women."

Oz's eye twitched. It was not like Gilbert to be so cocky. Luckily, he knew how to deal with situations like this. "Cat," He said plainly, and Gil immediately shrieked a most feminine shriek and scooted down the couch instinctively. Oz didn't laugh: he had seen that reaction too many times before. Gil glared at his young charge as he settled back down again.

"Ha ha, very funny Oz."

"It is," Oz agreed. "It really is."

Gil sighed and tried to move on. After all, he could never stay mad at Oz for too long. "What are you gonna do?"

Oz sighed. "Wait, I guess. She'll come around soon, I hope."


	12. Promises

_She's not gonna come around anytime soon_, Oz mused grimly as he stared at his reflection in the silver goblet on the alter. Although it was horribly distorted, his unhappy expression was clear as he turned to face his equally unhappy fiancée.

Oscar cleared his throat and fiddled with his tie awkwardly, glancing down at the script again before gesturing to Oz semi-grandly. "Oz Vessalius, will you have this woman to be your wife, to live together according to God's decree in the holy estate of marriage?"

Oz spoke through gritted teeth, jaw clenched: "I will."

Oscar nodded once subconsciously and forged on. "Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, faithfully keep to her alone, so long as you both shall live?"

"I will."

Oscar nodded again and turned to Alice. "Alice Baskerville, will you have this man to be your husband to live together according to God's decree in the holy estate of marriage?"

Alice snorted in ridicule. "As if."

Oscar nodded on instinct and opened his mouth to continue, then the words registered. "Hey…"

Oz rolled his eyes. "Look, Alice, I don't want to do this either, but we don't have a choice and if you're so eager for this to go ahead so you can get out of your Daddy's house why can't you just co-operate?"

Gil sighed and rubbed his forehead wearily. "Cut," He called from the back of the chapel. Oz and Alice both took the break in rehearsals as an opportunity to go at each other's throats once more and wasted no time in doing just that.

"Well, firstly there's the wedding vows," Alice snapped. "Neither of us are men or women, we're just kids. Secondly, _no-one _would ever take this whelp unless they were seriously sick or about to 'forsake' him regardless of any stiff wedding vows." Oscar sighed and Alice shrugged modestly. "Just sayin'."

Oz rolled his eyes furiously and gently whacked the side of Alice's head. "Why can't you just co-operate?" Oz demanded. "It's been four bloody days! As much as I regret it, we're getting married in three days and you're only making it ten times harder than it really has to be!"

Alice went from sarcastic and cool to suddenly infuriated. "Oh, so it's all _my _fault now, is it?" She demanded, voice bordering on the hysterical. "I wager that if you spend some time taking a good hard look at yourself you'd realize that you're the heart of the problem here, not me. We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you had just been a good little boy and stayed out of prison!"

"Hey, you're the hypocrite here, not me," Oz spat. "Do you remember that unfortunate day when we first met and you told me that if I did anything to screw this up you'd kill me? Looks like you're gonna have to kill yourself, love, 'cause if anyone's ruining this it's you."

"At least I have the backbone to tell you that I don't want to get married to scum like you!" Alice threw back. "Jerks like you aren't worth my time!"

"Then why do you hang around with me every day?" Oz challenged. "No-one forces you to come to this mansion every morning, so why do you?"

"G-Glen told me to come here!" Alice said, almost immediately, but not quite. Oz could see the shock in her eyes, along with something else.

Oz knew he had her stumped and immediately used it to his advantage, taking an unconscious step towards her. "You don't seem like the type to obey Daddy's every order," Oz observed coolly. "If you hate me so much, why don't you just stay at home?"

"I need to attend rehearsals," Alice said, but her voice lacked the conviction it normally held. She turned her head away, nose high. "And no-one said you had to hang around with me either. You could have left me anytime. So why didn't you?"

"That's true," Oz admitted. "But at least I'm smart and humble enough to admit it."

Alice's lavender eyes looked ready to shoot lazers at him, but she quickly subsided and whirled on her heel, storming out of the chapel. "I hate you," She reminded him over her shoulder and she marched the wrong way down the aisle, but her heart wasn't in it.

"You know I'm right," Oz called after her, not one to let a girl have the last word.

Even the door slam that replied to him seemed insincere.

Oscar sighed and adjusted his glasses. "Oz…"

The Oz in question rolled his eyes in frustration, waving a careless hand over his shoulder as he trudged down the aisle to converse with Gil. "She's the problem child here, not me."

Oscar was about to be a stern, nagging uncle, but the words died in his throat. Oz never listened to his uncle. Perhaps Gil would have the guts to stand up to his rebellious young charge and reign him in… _Yeah right._

Oz plonked himself down beside his right-hand man with a depressed sigh. "I'll kill her," He told her, not for the first time. "I really will."

Gil lit a cigarette. He'd been smoking more and more often as of late. "Someone's an eager beaver to get this particular show on the road," He said pointedly, casting a meaningful glance at Oz, who just turned his head away childishly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," He huffed. "She's just making it more awkward, that's all."

Gil rolled his eyes and cut right to the chase, leaning in close to Oz and forcing the blonde boy to face him. For a moment, those glowing emerald globes intimidated him, but he pushed it back. He was, after all, the adult here, was he not? "Look, Oz," he said sternly, sighing deeply. "You can't keep this up. I know that you know that I know that you _know _you like Alice and there's a strong chance that she likes you too. If you're so _humble _you'd just admit it by now and tell her, _which I am going to make you do _whether you like it or not. You can't get married and scream at each other all the time."

"Yes, I can," Oz argued, but even he knew that he didn't mean it. Gil was right: ever since he and Alice had almost kissed he had felt a funny gnawing sensation in his stomach every time he made Alice upset. He knew that in any other circumstances he probably would've caved by now and admitted that he loved her but he was far too proud to go groveling to someone like Alice. There was also a more than likely chance that she would be too proud to admit it as well and just reject him, thus embarrassing Oz immensely. _Then _he'd have to kill her, slowly and painfully.

"You can't and you know it," Gil insisted. "Just tell her. It really shouldn't be that hard. And if you don't tell her before the wedding day, then I'll… I'll…"

"We'll send you back to Abyss," A deep voice rumbled overhead. Oz and Gil flinched in unison and turned to see Oscar standing over them, his huge frame shadowing them dramatically as he listened to their conversation. "Gil's right, Oz," Oscar sighed, voice returning to normal volume again. "I don't know what's going on between you and Miss Baskerville, but it has to stop. If you don't apologize tomorrow night- and I'll make sure you will- it'll be straight back to Abyss with you, alright?"

Oz's eyebrows furrowed. "What's tomorrow night?" He asked, earning a roar of half-hearted laughter from Oscar.

"Why, your bachelor party, of course!" He said, clapping a massive hand on Oz's shoulder. Oz brightened suddenly.

"I get a bachelor party?" He demanded excitedly, tugging at Gil's sleeve like an over-eager puppy. "Are we going to Vegas?"

"Of course not," Oscar scoffed at his nephew's foolishness. "It will be at home. With all the guests from the wedding. And me. And Gil. And Alice. And your father."

Oz's merriment quickly evaporated and he slumped in his chair. "Anything else I should know about?"

Oscar blinked, surprised. "You don't even know what's happening on your own wedding day?"

"Obviously not," Gil sniffed, who apparently had put a lot of his own work into the wedding, seeing as he knew Oz the best. "There's a party tomorrow night, and then all of tomorrow morning will be getting ready. Traditionally, the bride and groom won't see each other until the actual wedding ceremony, which will take place at exactly midday. After party goes as long as it takes, really, and then you pop off on your honeymoon."

Oz shot almost a metre into the air. "_Honeymoon_?" He demanded, suddenly terrified. "You're kidding."

Gil nodded but did not smile. "I was, actually," He admitted. "In revenge for all those bloody cats." Gil had grown unusually cocky as of late and Oz had constantly pointed out imaginary cats to terrify him out of his wits. It still had the same effect as always.

Oz sighed in relief. "Thank bloody _God_," He breathed. "I don't think I could survive a honeymoon with her."

"Back to the matter at hand," Oscar said hastily. "You promise to apologize to her?"

Oz rolled his eyes and grudgingly nodded. "Promise. At my _bachelor _party." He rolled his eyes again sarcastically.

Oscar grinned, oblivious to his nephew's distaste. "Brilliant! See you then."

Oz watched his uncle skip out of the chapel with a look that was a mix of mystification and something like disgust, then turned to Gil.

"How often did Break complain about marriage?" He asked wearily.

Gil shrugged. "Almost daily."

Oz sighed and stood, patting Gil's head absently as he moved out of the pews. "Yeah, well, you'll be hearing it hourly, trust me."


	13. May The Madness Begin

**A/N: Sorry for the lame ending… -.-" On an off note, I'm going to be really busy for the next two weeks, so don't expect much… :L Enjoy!**

"So I suppose what I'm trying to say is…"

Oz opened his eyes and proceeded to roll them, turning away in disgust. "I can't believe I'm actually saying this to you."

Gil looked genuinely disappointed. "But it was going so well!" He exclaimed.

Oz's face was flushed but he hid it, turning away from his right hand man as he spoke. "Look, I promised I would apologize to Alice, and I'll hold up that promise, but how I keep it is none of your business."

Gil immediately jumped to conclusions of the worse kind. "You're not going to sleep with her or anything, are you?"

Oz was appalled by the very idea. "With her? Oh, hell no. Besides, I never actually… Why the hell am I telling you this?"

"Well, firstly, I'm your best friend," Gil began, obviously taking this seriously as he counted the reasons off on his fingers. "Secondly, I know more on this than you do."

"Hey, Gil," Oz interrupted, pulling a cage out from behind the couch. "Do you think Alice will like this cat?"

Gil rolled his eyes. "Very funny, Oz. I'm not falling for that anymore."

Oz looked at Gil with earnest green eyes, opening the cage door. "No, I'm serious."

Gil's head turned and instantly whitened when he saw the black cat Oz held up in his hands. With an evil smile, Oz waved the little thing in his friend's face, making the golden bell tied to its neck by a red ribbon jingle merrily. Gil cowered behind his armchair, trembling.

"What. Is. That." His voice shook as he spoke.

Oz stroked the cat fondly, and it purred happily in response. "It's for Alice," He repeated absently.

Gil rolled his eyes and straightened a little. "What, you're going to give Alice a _cat _and eg for mercy?"

A quiet purr from the cat sent Gil back behind the chair again, whimpering in fear.

Oz chuckled softly to himself. "It's a wedding present," He explained. "Also a sort of peace offering, I suppose."

Gil swallowed hard. "What if she's allergic to cats? Or just doesn't like them?"

Oz's nose wrinkled a little at that. "I thought about that," He admitted. "I don't know enough about her to get a present I know she'll love, but she's so much like a cat I figured she'd like one of her own. Plus, in the event this doesn't work out, at least she'll have a friend." Oz rubbed the space between the cat's ears fondly as he spoke, implying that the 'friend' he spoke about was the cat. Gil shuddered.

"Just put that thing away so we can have a normal conversation. Please."

Oz smiled a little to himself and complied. The whole purpose of introducing Alice's future pet to Gil was so he wouldn't have to endure any more of Gil's enforced, humiliating rehearsals of what Oz planned to say to Alice that night at his 'bachelor' party. Oz had had rather enough of rehearsals. Following the little drama in the chapel the day before, Oscar had thought it best to let Oz and Alice cool off and sort themselves out before they were finally married. His excuse was that they had a big day coming up and needed some rest, and no-one argued. The tension between the two had been running almost unbearably high. Everyone needed a break from Oz and Alice, especially Oz and Alice themselves.

Oz had just replaced the cage behind the couch when the door slammed loudly. Both Oz and Gil's heads turned in surprise and they saw none other than Alice leaning against that door, arms supporting it as her chest ballooned with air.

"Hello, Alice," Oz said semi-pleasantly. Then, in a less polite and more curious tone: "What, exactly, are you doing?"

"That Sharon woman," She gasped. "She's crazy!"

Gil snorted. "She inherits it from her father."

Alice shook her head. "She is a totally different level of crazy to that clown," She gushed. "She's been making me try on dresses all day, and there are all these other ladies chasing me down too. It's driving me nuts! I've been trying to find you guys all morning. I figured you'd tell them to leave me alone…?" She trailed off hopefully.

Oz sighed. "Alice, I think those ladies were trying to fit your…" Here he choked up a little: "Wedding dress."

Alice blinked. "Oh. I hadn't considered that. I'll… um, I'll go find them." She moved to go out the door again, then paused. "Have you had your suit tailored yet, Oz?"

Oz made a distasteful face. "Probably later today."

"A word of advice: those needles really hurt."

Oz smiled a little. "I'll remember."

Then Alice left. Gil watched the closed door for a few seconds before whistling and shaking his head. "She's a weird one."

"Oh yeah."

When Alice had burst into the room, she had not at all been fleeing Sharon's deadly fairytale forces.

The truth was, neither Oz nor Alice had been fitted for their respective suits or gowns yet. Although it was true Alice had been attempting to avoid Sharon and she had also been attempting to find Oz and Gil for lack of better company, her apparent shock/horror upon entering the room had not been from Sharon.

Alice had been sitting outside that door for a while. Not long, but long enough to know that Gil was forcing Oz into doing something that involved Alice tomorrow night.

She took a few cautious tip-toe steps down the corridor, then burst into a sprint that carried her down the now-familiar halls until she arrived in the lobby, where sure enough Sharon was supervising the preparations (despite her young age). Alice tugged on her sleeve impatiently until she turned.

"Yes, Alice?" She couldn't help but sound a little irritated when she spoke.

Alice's speech came in breathless gasps. "It's about Oz."

Now that got Sharon's attention. It had taken a while, but following Oz and Alice's 'almost' moment in her room Sharon had spent enough time filling Alice's head with her fairytales to worm a little sort-of confession out of her. It wasn't really a confession at all: Alice had really just stated that she felt 'funny' around Oz, and after a bit more poking around Sharon had come to the obvious conclusion that Alice obviously liked her fiancée, no matter how much she pretended otherwise. Although she did not know it, she had become since then like what Gil was to Oz, though neither side knew that the other was planning the same thing.

Alice led- practically dragged- Sharon up to her room, at which point she sank down against the door and whispered, "I think he's going to propose."

Sharon's shoulders slumped. "Uh, Alice," She said in an obvious tone. "He can't propose to you if it's an arranged marriage."

Alice rolled her eyes. "I know _that_," She snorted. "But this is an arranged marriage so neither of us had much of a say. If he proposes to me, it means that he means it."

"Ohhhh." Sharon caught on, and her girly side swiftly took over. "Alice, this is wonderful!"

"No it's not!" Alice snapped, surprising Sharon. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

Sharon thought it a little obvious. "Well, you accept, of course."

"No way!" Alice turned her nose up at the very idea. "I'm not groveling to that whelp for anything."

"It's not groveling," Sharon said gently.

"I fail to see the difference," Alice sniffed unhappily, arms folded defiantly.

"Well, firstly, _he's _asking _you_, not the other way around," Sharon pointed out. "Secondly, if he's 'proposing', he obviously means it. That's special, Alice. From what Break tells me, Oz isn't one to commit to anyone. This is _huge, _Alice!"

"I don't care," She whispered. "I can't do this. I don't want to get married."

And then she cried. Alice had been crying more and more lately. It was because of hanging around this bloody fairytale woman, she was sure.

Sharon sidled over to her and hugged her comfortingly. Alice shuddered but didn't bother resisting. She found it kind of… _nice. _No-one had ever hugged her before. Sharon was kind of like a mum to her, she supposed. Not that Alice would want a mum like Sharon. That would drive her nuts. But just someone who cared…

As if reading her thoughts, Sharon spoke. "Oz cares about you, honey," She said softly. "You'll be fine."

"But what if I'm not?" Alice asked quietly, voice muffled. Part of her was disgusted by her weak behaviour; most of her was glad to finally have someone who would let her be weak and vulnerable, help her pull herself together again and not remind her about it later.

"Well then I'll just come and torment you for a day," Sharon smiled. "Get your mind off your supposedly trashy husband, eh?"

Alice had to smile. At least Sharon knew she pissed Alice off. She sat up and wiped her eyes, already trying to block out the memory of her weakness. She did, however, decide to hold onto the hug and that feeling of belonging, of being loved. "Thanks, Sharon," She sniffed.

Sharon smiled again and rubbed Alice's arm comfortingly. "What're friends for?"

Alice looked at her hopefully. "Getting people out of wedding gown fittings, maybe?" She suggested.

Wrong thing to say, apparently. Sharon was appalled. "You haven't been fitted for your dress yet? Oh, dear. Come on, we have to go, now!"

With an annoyed grunt, Alice let herself be dragged off by her crazy fairytale-obsessed teenage foster mother. Deep inside, she didn't really mind too much.


	14. Big World

Alice was not impressed.

The foyer- not to mention the courtyard, probably a few of the hallways and she wouldn't be surprised if the chapel was on display too- was filled with people either wearing the same black and white suit or hundreds of expensive-looking dresses that Alice just didn't see fit to waste time on. There was champagne and wine (which Alice wanted) and punch (which she didn't, but received anyway). There were chips and nuts and the occasional tropical fruit bowl. There was caviar and a lot of other expensive dishes Alice's limited knowledge of the world could not tell her about. There had been a fair bit of meat at one point but she had eaten most of that already.

_This is the crappiest bachelorette party ever, _she mused unhappily. Of course, she hadn't known the meaning of the term 'bachelorette party' until a few days ago, but a brief encounter with a film called _The Hangover _taught her that this was most certainly _not _a bachelorette party. At least, not the kind of bachelorette party she would have asked for if she had had any choice in the matter. Which, of course, she didn't, and so here she was.

_I wonder how Oz is going, _she thought absently. She was surprised to find herself craning her neck and balancing on the tips of her toes to find that familiar blonde head bobbing in the crowd, but brought herself back down to the marble floor quickly. What was she _doing_? She could not succumb to that boy, not now. She would bide her time. If she was right and he actually did propose… Alice's stomach did a sickening flip-flop for two reasons: one was nerves, and the other was disgust that she was actually thinking like this. It was that bloody Sharon girl, she decided scornfully. That young woman had turned Alice's world upside-down! Certainly, her world was limited, but there were some things she didn't want to know. She was almost missing her safe confinement in her father's house…

_Stop that. _She had had enough of confinement. She was not going to be weak. She would not cower in the face of the real world as Glen had predicted her to. Regardless of whether that selfish, ungrateful turd decided to walk her down the aisle or not the next day, Alice would stride down it with her head held high. She had had enough of him. Anything, even marriage to Oz, would be better than life with that crabby old man.

"Hey, Alice!"

Her head whirled in response, the pair of brown braids Sharon had tied in her head whipping around her face as she did so. As if on cue, she saw a wide smile and a pair of brilliant emerald eyes blazing through the crowd of grown-ups, his waving hand held high to make sure she knew he was there. She smiled without realizing it and took an unconscious step towards him, but caught herself. She would not be the one to cave.

"You look… nice," Oz managed, standing opposite her. It bothered Alice that he was taller than her, but not the way it used to.

Alice wrinkled her nose characteristically. "You look plain," She replied, gesturing first to his formal black suit and then to all the others around him. Oz grinned.

"Hopefully it'll be a bit more colourful tomorrow," He offered, but Alice saw his Adam's apple bob up and then down as he spoke. He was just as scared as she was.

The nerves got to her and Alice fiddled with her dress uncomfortably, not meeting his eyes. "Are you ready?" She asked quietly, apparently intrigued by the marble beneath her feet.

Oz half-laughed nervously, running a hand through his unruly hair. "No way in hell," He breathed, flashing a smile at a strange old lady neither of them knew as she watched them converse. Keeping up images, just like Oscar had told him to. "What about you?"

Alice was just about to hug him and tell him that she was petrified, but her upper lip stiffened and she shrugged indifferently. _I will not cave. _"As long as I get out of Glen's house, I really don't care what happens."

Oz smirked with a cockiness that made Alice's fingers twitch. "I'm not stupid, Alice," He said, voice low as he drooped his head to meet hers.

Alice's face flushed and she backed her head away from his, uncomfortable with their sudden close proximity. "You sure look it," She hissed half-heartedly, but Oz smirked again, lifting Alice's chin with a tap of his gloved finger. Alice's body suddenly went hot and she felt the gaze of many upon them now, but she could not take herself away from Oz's eyes. As much as she wanted to slap him for being so… so _Oz_-ish, she just couldn't. She was paralyzed.

"Pretty words," Oz whispered. "But we all know you don't mean them."

Alice had just enough mind to glare at him. "Who's 'we'?" She demanded. "All I see here is you and me."

Which was, apparently, the wrong thing to say.

Oz smiled a smile that both charmed and frightened Alice. "Exactly," He said softly, letting her chin drop. "You can pretend all you like, Lady Baskerville, but you're just as scared as I am."

Alice made a defiant face. "The only thing I'm scared of is Sharon," She replied huffily, shooting a glare at the girl's thankfully turned back. Alice didn't even want to imagine what might happen if Sharon could see her now.

Oz straightened, disregarding her lame lie. "To be honest, I'm kind of looking forward to it," He admitted, voice still low. Alice's heart skipped a beat and she had to force herself to stay calm.

"So you like me," Alice said, looking at him from the corner of her eye. Oz didn't notice, preferring instead to look around at the crowd.

"Come with me," He said suddenly, taking Alice by the wrist and dragging her effortlessly through the tight-knit group of grown-ups until they stumbled out onto the empty balcony. The breeze that toyed with Alice's hair and ruffled her dress was cold, but not unbearably so. Without waiting for Oz, she strode forward and leant on the balcony, arms delicately folded as she looked out across the rolling grounds.

"It's huge," She said quietly, not having to look to know that Oz had joined her. "I could only see the smaller half of the Baskerville estate from my window." She looked down with an air of something like shame. Oz listened. "I never saw anything from my window," Alice admitted. "The world was what I read in books. That was all I ever knew. Everything is just so much bigger than I could ever imagine." She laughed a little. "It's petrifying."

Alice was surprised but not disgusted by Oz's warm arm around her shoulders. "It's OK," He said comfortingly. "Everyone gets scared. This world is _huge_. We're only kids and we're about to get married. You have never left the house before now in your entire life and I've missed ten years of my life." Silence fell and Alice got the sense Oz was plucking up the guts to say what he had to say. She was about to poke him in the ribs and tell him to get on with it when he spoke. "I just want you to know, Alice… I think you're really brave for coming into this gigantic world to make one of the biggest decisions you will ever have to make. Most people only make that decision when they're grown-up and have all the experience and knowledge they need. You didn't have any of that. I'm… I'm proud to be married to you." Red-faced, Oz waited for the verdict.

Alice snorted and traced an imaginary line in the railing. "It's not like I had a choice," She reminded him.

Oz shrugged. "You had the choice to be a crazy bitch to me for the rest of our lives," He said, then looked Alice straight in the eyes. "But you didn't."

All at once, the weight of the situation and how horribly close she was to him and how far she had just fallen for a person fell on her at once and she shoved him away angrily. Oz looked genuinely surprised and… hurt.

"What do you know?" Alice demanded almost hysterically. "You have everything! You have your own perfect world where everything goes properly! I don't have _any _of that. I don't want this. I never asked to be, but I'm caught up in this emotional cobweb like a helpless fly, waiting for a spider called Oz to eat me inside out for being so blind!"

Oz looked shock. "Alice… I-"

"Shut up," She growled. "Just shut up."

And with that, she stormed from the balcony, shoving unceremoniously through the guests until she managed to fight her way up the stairs and then into the corridors, where she fled straight to her room.

Alone on the balcony, Oz rubbed her shoulder and exhaled heavily. Gil appeared from the shadows, looking sympathetic. "Well that could've gone better," Oz mused. Gil clapped his shoulder supportively.

"You did what you could. Now we just have to wait."

Alice slammed the door was a quiet roar of frustration. She was far too angry to cry. Angry at Oz, angry at Glen, angry at the world… angry at herself. How could she have fallen like that? She promised not to cave. She had always promised herself to be the stronger person. She was not some ordinary teenage girl, obsessed with all the nooks and crannies of material life. That wasn't what she wanted to be. With another frustrated scream, she tore her heels from her feet and threw them at the wall furiously. There were little holes in the walls where the heels met their mark.

_Meow._

The breath that Alice had taken to unleash a long string of swear words was exhaled sharply and she turned, confused. By the moonlight that streamed through the window, she was able to make out the silhouette of a little cat sitting in the long line of her shadow, a ball of dark red yarn at its feet, tail flicking back and forth patiently as it watched her with big, burgundy eyes. A bell was tied to its neck by a red ribbon and next to the ball of yarn was a note. Alice knelt down next to the cat and picked up the note, reading it by the moonlight.

_Alice:_

_If tonight doesn't go well, I doubt tomorrow will, or the rest of the many years after that. So here's a friend who won't drive you nuts but will keep you company should you need it._

_Oz._

_P.S His name is Cheshire._

Tears did not well at the corners of Alice's eyes upon reading the writing as one might expect them to, but nor did Alice discard the note indifferently. She smiled a little and stood, tucking it away in a drawer before returning to the cat- _Cheshire- _and picking it up. It mewed contently and rubbed its silky face against hers, and she held it closer.

Tomorrow she would be married, and come what may she knew what she had to do. Her stomach fluttered horribly with nerves but she knew she was going to be fine.

_After all_, she thought to herself, bobbing little Cheshire up and down in her arms. _I have a friend._


	15. The Big Day

"_That _was your apology?" Gil demanded in disbelief, stabbing Oz's leg with a needle.

"Ow," He replied. "And yes, that was my apology. What would you have said?"

Gil rolled his eyes, yanking the needle out as he did so. "Anything but _that_," He promised. "You should've just told her straight out, you moron."

"I was getting to that!" Oz said defensively. "You can't exactly just pop out and tell someone you lo… like them." Oz still couldn't make himself say the word 'love' out loud.

"Somehow, I think Alice would've liked that better," Gil grumbled.

Oz shrugged. "Maybe the cat made her change her mind."

Gil snorted in disbelief. "Oh, sure it did. Nothing says 'I love you' like a hairy, toothy _thing_."

Oz rolled his eyes. "It shows that I care about her enough to want her to have a friend if she ends up hating me."

"At least you tried," Oscar sighed. "How does it feel?"

Oz fiddled with his little red bow tie again. "Annoying," He said honestly. "It's so rigid, I don't think I can even bend over."

"Unless you drop the ring, you won't have to," Gil pointed out. Oz shot him an unappreciative glare. Gil shrugged.

"Those needles aren't cigarettes, Gil," Oz said distastefully. "Unless you want to look like a girl, I'd say you put them down."

Gil huffily threw down the sewing kit he'd been absently fiddling with for a while now. He opened his mouth to shoot back an undoubtedly weak comeback, but Oscar interrupted. "Speaking of which, you will _not _be smoking at my nephew's wedding," he said sternly.

"Listen to the big man," Oz advised. He hated Gil smoking for two reasons: the first was that it made Oz smell really bad, and the second was that it reminded him that he had missed out on ten years and, along with that, several privileges. Drinking, driving, smoking. It'd all just have to wait.

_Unlike marriage, _he thought bitterly, loosening his bow tie just one more time. "Is Zai going to be there?" He asked stiffly.

Oscar sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm afraid so, though I doubt you'll see him."

Oz smirked, but his eyes were sad. "Of course. He wouldn't even stick around for his own son's wedding day."

Oscar hated seeing Oz like this and took a pained step towards him, hand outstretched. "Oz-"

The door swung open then and three heads turned in unison. Gil appraised the visitor and turned away like it was normal. "Oh. Hey, Vince." Then apparently he realized it wasn't normal and did a double-take, staring at the door in amazement. "Vince?"

The funny-looking man in the doorway smiled creepily at Gil. "Hello, big brother."

He was tall and thin and his long blonde hair was tied back in a blue ribbon. His narrow eyes were oddly coloured, one red and one green. He was dressed as formally as the other men in the room, dressed for a wedding. The smile plastered to his features didn't reach his eyes, which surveyed the room with cold indifference. Oz made a mental note to have as little to do with this man as he could.

Oscar sighed awkwardly and gestured at the grand figure in the doorway. "I don't believe you've met."

"No, I don't believe we have," Oz replied cautiously, not taking his gaze away from the unwavering two-coloured gaze of the strange man, Vince.

"Indeed we haven't," Vince confirmed, stepping forward and offering his hand. "I am Vincent Nightray, Gilbert's little brother."

Oz's eyes hardened when he remembered. He did not take the man's hand but he did take a step forward, ready to lunge. "Where's Ada?" He growled. If this creep was the man who had dared to take off with his little sister…

Vincent chuckled with an easy cockiness that annoyed the crap out of Oz. It was like the man thought he was immune to… everything. "No need to worry, Master Oz. She is currently parading around in dresses with your fiancée and her friends." Vincent's tone was disdainful, and it annoyed Oz even further. Ada deserved so much better than him.

"Good," Oz replied shortly, turning back to the mirror. "And it's Master Vessalius to you."

Vincent kept on smiling. "Soon to be Mister, I understand. You are soon to become a married man."

Oz rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Well done, Captain Obvious. That's generally what weddings are intended for."

Vincent laughed again. Oz's eye twitched. "I can see that I'm not welcome here," He noted calmly.

"You got that right, buddy boy," Oz growled, hands bunching into fists. Gil took a step towards his young charge, ready to hold him back if he had to.

"I understand," Vincent repeated softly. "I will see you at the ceremony."

"Whatever," Oz replied disdainfully, turning back to the mirror once more. He shot the closed door a rude gesture when Oscar's back was turned. "Is that creep seriously your brother?" He asked Gil, one eyebrow raised demandingly.

"Creep he may be, but he's still my brother," Gil said half-heartedly, adjusting Oz's coat. "Family is family."

Oz snorted. "Tell it to Zai."

Gil sighed and gave up, deciding instead to tend to his own suit. He had to look just as presentable as Oz, what with his being the best man and all.

_I wish marriage could wait, _Oz reflected again, begging his grim reflection to save him from this ridiculous situation.

"I wish marriage could wait," Alice whined as Sharon pulled her long, dark hair back into what she had promised to be an elegant, intricate bun of some sort.

"I'm sure it won't be so bad," Sharon said, checking the reflection again to see what Alice looked like from the front. "You're both only kids still, so I imagine it won't be quite like an adult marriage."

Alice rolled her eyes. "I don't know how it's going to turn out, I just know that I won't like it. I don't want to be bound to one thing forever. I like freedom."

Sharon patted her head as though she were nothing but a child. She had been doing that a lot lately. Excess stress as well as Sharon's new-found maternal instincts had pushed Alice to the brink of strangling her. She was teetering on that brink, very, very dangerously. "It's not like being in prison," Sharon explained, as though she knew everything about it. "You can still do all the stuff you want to do. I don't suppose you had much of a love life before now, what with you being stuck in Lord Baskerville's mansion all the time. I think it'll be just like it has been the past few weeks, with you living here and you and Oz being thrown together all the time. It'll just be more official now."

"What do you know about it?" Alice snapped angrily, having finally fallen off the edge. "You know nothing outside your stupid storybooks. Life's not like that, OK? So stop pretending like it is."

Alice could see in the mirror reflection that Sharon was hurt by her words, but she was so scared and nervous that she didn't have enough time to feel bad about it. She was about to be married to someone she wasn't sure if she loved or hated. She was just about ready to smash every single valuable ornament in both her house and this one. She was petrified.

There was no more time for words, however: at that moment, a breathless blonde and a quiet girl with white hair stumbled into the room. Sharon's head turned and she squealed with delight, abandoning Alice's hair in favour of throwing herself happily upon the blonde girl. Alice turned in her chair, eye twitching with annoyance, to see what was going on.

"Ada!" Sharon squealed, hugging the blonde girl tight. "I didn't think you were coming!"

The blonde girl- Ada, Alice guessed- slapped Sharon's shoulder in a mockingly bashful way. "It's my brother's wedding, of course I'm coming."

"You're Oz's sister?" Alice interrupted. Ada turned and those familiar green eyes locked onto her. The girl- _Alice's future sister-in-law_- smiled warmly in welcoming.

"You must be Alice," She gushed happily, eyes scanning her from head to foot. Alice shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Uncle Oscar has told me so much about you, I'm so excited to meet you at last. You look _beautiful_," she added, gesturing to Alice's flowing white wedding gown.

"You too," Alice replied grudgingly but politely.

"You really do," Sharon agreed, standing back to look at Ada's dress again. "Did Vincent get that for you?"

Ada grinned and spun around, showing off the flowing expanse of her gown. It never seemed to stay one colour, instead rippling from blue to green to purple with every move she made. Her hair was wound into a tight bun on top of her head and held in place by a number of sparkling butterfly clips that matched her eyes. Alice felt an unfamiliar twinge of envy in her stomach and brushed it off, reminding herself that, being the bride, she would most certainly be the most beautiful woman in the chapel that day.

"You look great too," Ada told Sharon earnestly. Sharon blushed and shook her head, fiddling with her green-gold gown awkwardly.

"Oh, it's an old thing," She muttered. "Break got it for me a while ago."

Alice snorted quietly and rolled her eyes. _Thirty bucks says she stole his cash and bought it herself yesterday._

Bored already with the material-based girly talk, Alice turned back to the mirror and jumped in surprise when she saw a familiar reflection staring back at her. Calming down, she smiled a little. "Hey, Echo."

Echo was the other girl who had stumbled into the room with Ada and had, until recently, been hiding behind Alice's chair in front of the mirror, her eyes just peeking over the top. Presently she straightened and waved awkwardly. "Hello, Alice."

Anyone else who had been watching would have sworn Alice was talking to the mirror rather than Echo herself. "Your dress looks really nice, too."

It was icy blue and white, like a frozen lake. It was strapless and went all round and poufy at the bottom, much like Alice's. In line with where the dress cut off at her torso was a pair of darker blue sleeves on either arm. Her short hair was adorned with a big blue butterfly clip.

"So do you," Echo replied in that numb, distant manner of hers. "I mean, you're the bride, right?"

Alice laughed a little and looked down. "Yeah, I guess so."

Awkward silence descended. Alice looked up again, right into the reflection of Echo's indifferent eyes. "You're still hanging around Vincent, I suppose?"

Echo shrugged. "Yeah. You'll be away from Glen soon enough but, hey?"

"I guess so." Finally, Alice plucked up the guts to say it: "Look, Echo, I'm sorry for being so rude to you all those times. It was uncalled for."

Echo shrugged her bare shoulders again. "It's OK. I guess I'm sort of used to it by now."

Alice opened her mouth to say something nice, something that might have comforted the lonely girl, but she was cut off.

"I just wanted to come up here to tell you good luck," Echo said quietly. "I know this is a particularly big thing for you, so I just wanted to say that I wish you the best."

Alice smiled genuinely at Echo's reflection. "Thanks, Echo. Good luck to you too."

Echo nodded her head before moving away. "Thank you, Alice."

And so ended the mirror-conversation between Alice and Echo. Alice watched, still in the mirror, as Echo tugged patiently on Ada's gown and quietly told her that it was time for them to go and find Vincent. Ada bid Sharon a fond farewell and the dynamic duo left. Sharon returned to Alice's hair, having merrily forgotten her sharpness before. Cheshire mewed quietly and jumped onto Alice's lap, curling up and purring contentedly.

Sharon looked at the cat in surprise. "Who's the new edition?" She asked politely over Alice's shoulder.

Alice had not told Sharon about what had happened lastnight and she didn't have any particular wish to. "Echo gave him to me," She lied stiffly. "His name's Cheshire."

Sharon accepted the lie easily, scratching Cheshire's head fondly. "Oh, how cute!"

"Yeah."

And so the hair-doing proceeded in almost-silence, with Sharon humming a catchy little ditty to herself as she worked. Alice was not sure how much time passed before Sharon was satisfied.

"Stand up," She said, voice hoarse with excitement. "Stand in the full-length mirror for me, will you."

Carefully setting Cheshire on the floor, Alice obeyed. Due to the length of the dress, Sharon had allowed Alice to wear runners instead of stilettos, but only after Alice had vividly described a likely scenario in which Alice tripped over her own clumsy feet in the 'untrustworthy' high heels several times during the ceremony. It had been too much for Sharon to bear and she had reluctantly agreed to let Alice wear her Converse.

Not that Alice could really see them, anyway. As she stood opposite the mirror, she could hardly believe that it was her reflection she was seeing. She had specifically asked that Sharon did not use too much make-up, and she had politely complied by only applying eyeliner and mascara, which made Alice look different already. Sharon had tied her hair into lots of braids and pulled them back into a flowing ponytail. Alice's bangs had been pulled back from her face by invisible bobby pins hidden in her hair, leaving her face feeling oddly naked. The little silver butterflies that clipped the veil to her hair glittered in the light as she moved, as did the pearl necklace (which belonged to Sharon) that hung at her throat. Her gown was strapless and had a sort of corset complex around her torso, then spilling out in layers of tulle and silk below her waist. Spidery white fingerless gloves crept up to her elbows, though she didn't think they'd be particularly useful against cold should it happen to strike.

"Holy crap," She breathed at last. Sharon squealed and threw her arms around her.

"Oh, Alice, I'm so happy!" Alice felt Sharon's proud, happy tears drip onto her bare shoulders and patted her back uncertainly. Sharon released her and held her at arm's length, appraising her with all the proudness of a real life mother. "You look fantastic. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks, Sharon," Alice smiled nervously. "It was mostly you, anyway."

When Sharon looked at her again, Alice felt like a bug under a microscope. "Is it true, Alice?" She asked suddenly, catching Alice by surprise.

"Is what true?" She asked uncertainly.

"That your wedding day is the happiest day of your life," Sharon elaborated. "That's what I've always heard. Is it true?"

Alice smiled crookedly. "In fairytale books, maybe," She grinned. Sharon hit her shoulder playfully.

"Come on, be honest."

"Well, for future reference, _I've_ always heard that the second happiest day of your life is the day you buy a boat and the _happiest _day is when you find some poor bastard who'll buy it, so I'm gonna have to say that the wedding day's a bit of a letdown," Alice winked, causing Sharon to roll her eyes.

"Please tell me the truth, Alice," Sharon pleaded.

Alice shrugged, not wanted to meet her eyes. "Why do you want to know? You know you're _much _too young to get married." Another wink.

Sharon shrugged. "I just want to make sure you're happy."

Alice caught herself and sat down on her bed. "I don't know," She admitted with a shrug. "It's like… it's like my stomach's on a rollercoaster full of annoying hyperactive kids and sometimes it feels like I've been running for ages and my heart gets so big I feel like Phar Lap."

Sharon cocked an eyebrow at her. "You feel like a horse."

Alice laughed nervously and shrugged. "You asked."

Sharon sat down beside her and hugged her again. This time it wasn't necessarily unpleasant. "I'm glad," Sharon said quietly. "You're happy."

"Actually, I feel kinda like I'm about to puke," Alice said honestly.

"That's nerves. And happiness. You'll be fine."

At that moment the door opened, and a maid Alice didn't recognize stood in the doorway. She smiled nervously. "Showtime, m'ladies. If you'll come with me."

Alice and Sharon exchanged a look and Sharon nodded encouragingly. They stood together and Sharon grabbed a bouquet of white roses from the cabinet, handing them to Alice gently. Alice took a deep breath and strode out of her room with her head held high, roses clasped to her chest with an air of faked confidence.

All too quickly they were standing outside the chapel. The maid bobbed a quick curtsey and whispered, "When the third bell goes, you'll go inside. Lord Baskerville is waiting just behind those doors and he will give you away. Miss Sharon, if you would go up to the altar with Alice, that would be lovely."

Sharon glowed with happiness. "I'm a bridesmaid?"

The maid shrugged. "I don't know much about weddings, but OK. Good luck, ladies."

"Thanks." The maid moved off and Alice gulped, tilting her head back to as to take in the full height of the white chapel she was about to enter. The rollercoaster in her body seemed to go much faster now and her chest became tight. She was dragged back to earth when she felt Sharon's comforting hand on her shoulder.

The church bell rang once… twice… thrice. That was Alice's cue.

Gulping in a lungful of air, Alice shakily walked up the chapel stairs. Just outside the door, she turned to make sure that Sharon was following her. Sure enough, she was, and offered a supportive thumbs up. It didn't do much to comfort Alice, but she turned back and pushed the doors open. Sharon followed, and they swung shut once more.

Neither of them were to know that they were entering the most unorthodox wedding of their lives.


	16. The Last Pieces of the Puzzle

The doors swung open and Oz willed his head to turn. In strode Alice in all of her white wedding gown glory, arm in arm with an unhappy-looking Glen Baskerville. Both of them edged as far away from each other as they could as they shuffled down the aisle. A little girl with white hair whose name Oz did not know followed behind them, tossing flowers absently. Gil nudged Oz's ribs jokingly, an action which rewarded him with a sharp rap on the knuckles from a nervous Oz. Gil's hand retracted and he watched expectantly.

At long last, Alice and Glen stumbled to the steps leading up to the altar. Glen released her but could not resist a parting shove. Alice stumbled forward, flowers flying through the air and skidding across the floor as she landed on the steps on her hands and knees. Oz and Gil flinched instinctively, recalling one particular incident in which Oz had tripped her in a hallway. It hadn't ended well for anyone. A few shocked gasps and murmurs rippled through the crowd but no-one did anything about it. Alice slowly stood, and for a few moments Oz thought she was just going to take it silently and move on. Her face was hidden by the veil that had flopped over her face and more murmurs rippled through the gathered crowd as they speculated over what would happen next.

Then Oz saw Alice's hands bunch into deadly fists and he couldn't hold back a smile. He had been on the receiving end of Alice's fury several times and wanted to see how this next particular victim handled being back-chatted.

"You bastard," Alice said hotly, voice low. But Glen Baskerville caught it and paused. The crowd waited with bated breath to see the great Lord's reaction to his daughter's defiance. "You think you can just waltz in here and abuse me on the biggest day of my life, do you? The world is your oyster, is that it? And I'm just that grain of sand that'll never become a pearl."

Alice whirled around to face her father, and there were no tears. Just fury. "I'm not being your puppet anymore!" She roared. "I'm not going to bow down to anyone, least of all you. You're a selfish abusive coward and I hate you."

Shocked silence descended onto the crowd as Glen turned his head just enough so Alice could see his profile over his shoulder. He was smiling. "Well then know that the feeling is mutual."

The people watched him with wide eyes as he calmly walked back into the crowd, and then they finally redirected their attention to the bride and groom at the alter.

But Alice was not done yet. Oh, no.

"Is Zai Vessalius here?" She demanded of the crowd, wiping Oz's smirk right off his face. No-one answered her, but the Vessalius signature green eyes and gold hair were so prominent in the crowd she found him eventually anyway. "Yeah, you. Hi there, I don't know what the hell went on between you and Oz but you have no right to just hate the son you never even spoke to. You had no right to take away his childhood. He believed in you, you know. Even if he is some kind of reckless idiot now, he once would've given anything for you to just love him. That alone would have been enough. You're no better than my father."

Alice turned her attention again to a certain candy-eating albino in the crowd. "And speaking of fathers, Mister Clown, you don't deserve a daughter like Sharon. All she's wanted is to love you and be loved but you've never given her any reason to be so much as a fatherly figure to her and you're selfish enough to pretend she's not even there. Even if you didn't love her mother, she still loves you and if you don't want to be a douche of a father like mine and Oz's you'll pick up your act before I make you."

Sharon was glowing before Alice turned her attention to her. "Sharon, you're a great kid but you've got to start living in the real world. Not everything in life turns out how you plan it and if you keep building up hopes like that you're only going to get hurt in the end. Also, not everyone you meet in life is going to like dresses and stilettos so you need to come up with better topics of conversation."

Gil cowered under Alice's gaze. "Mister Seaweed Head, you need to start sticking up for yourself. I get that you and Oz are great friends and all, but you're ten years older than him now. I'm pretty sure you've got a spine so you might as well use it. Be a man, for God's sake!"

Oz was grinning and was almost about to applaud her when she whirled to face him too, and now her eyes were really angry. He tensed, ready to defend himself.

"And as for you," She growled before grabbing Oz's coat and yanking him towards her.

Oz blinked in surprise and when he opened his eyes he was surprised to find that Alice was kissing him.

After the shock faded, it suddenly became a battle for dominance. Oz realized that _Alice _was kissing _him_, when really it was meant to be the other way around. Oz fought back but Alice was somehow stronger and something fell when Alice pushed him against the wall of the chapel. Oz's hands moved on instinct and he heard shocked gasps from several old people in the crowd.

"Get a room!" Break complained, and Oz felt something hard- probably Break's shoe- hit the side of his head. He did not see it, but Alice replied with a rude gesture in his general direction. Several old ladies fainted.

Gil coughed awkwardly as he split them up. "Ohh-kaay then, great to see that you guys are getting along now but don't you think that was just a little too much?"

Alice wiped a line of spit away from her chin with the back of her hand and grinned shamelessly at Oz. He winked back before nodding to Gil. He apologized formally to the wide-eyed crowd and the wedding juddered on awkwardly. The elderly who had fainted came around at different points, but it didn't really matter to the flustered couple at the alter.

The wedding, for Oz, passed in a blur of vows and another, less passionate kiss and signed documents and trembling applause and congratulations. He was suddenly acutely aware of Alice's presence next to him and found his gaze constantly wandering back to her glowing, lavender gaze until it got to the point where nothing else mattered and her eyes were all he could look at. He felt oddly light, as though the emotional baggage of the last three weeks had flown out of him and through the stained-glass windows the moment his lips had met Alice's. Nothing mattered anymore except that Alice was _here_, with him. Always.

Alice finished signing her name with a flourish and set down the pen gently. "Guess that seals the contract, huh?" She murmured absently as the documents were whisked away and tucked into a little black folder.

"S'pose so," Oz replied just as absently, watching the documents change hands as if in a trance.

"Is there gonna be a feast or something?" Alice asked suddenly. "I'm really hungry. That crappy bread the priest guy gave me was disgusting."

Oz laughed quietly. She hadn't changed. This was the Alice he wanted, upfront and honest and crazy. "I think so."

"Whatever, I'm finding out for myself." Alice turned and marched off down the aisle, leaving Oz shocked at the altar. Several surprised eyes from the crowd followed her too until suddenly she turned with an unexpectedly quizzical expression on her face.

"Well, are you coming or not?" She demanded, eyebrows raised questioningly. Oz didn't know how to answer for a moment, but then her face broke out in a smile and she stretched her hand out towards him. A weight he hadn't realized had landed on him lifted off his shoulders with a considerable amount of relief and he stumbled down, taking her hand and letting his new crazy wife- _wife!_- drag him out to the courtyard, where sure enough a party had been prepared. Oz allowed a moment for silent gratitude: Gil had known him well enough to know that Oz would have hated a formal seated dinner and had arranged a formal party instead.

Alice, predictably, went straight over to a silver meat platter, but Oz was quickly caught up in the wave of people muttering their congratulations and shaking his hand. Oscar enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug and Gil rustled his hair playfully. He saw the ghosts of Zai Vesslius and Glen Baskerville drift away from the party separately, but he didn't care anymore. Zai wasn't good enough to deserve any care from him anymore.

The party rolled on. Music played and Oz danced with multiple unknown relatives, occasionally being thrown in with Alice. She sucked at dancing, but Oz didn't mind. It was funny. Almost everything was funny now: he didn't even think he was capable of sadness, not today, not ever. Not anymore.

After maybe an hour, Oz found Gil and collapsed next to him. Predictably, there was a glass of white wine in Gil's hand and he looked pretty wasted already. Oz had to wave his hand in front of his glassy eyes a few times to get his attention.

"Oh. Hullo, Oz," He mumbled, sitting up straighter.

"How you doing, big guy?" Oz asked considerately.

Gil rubbed his forehead wearily. "How long's it been?"

Oz shrugged. "'Bout an hour?" He guessed.

"Not so good, for an hour," Gil moaned. "What about you? What's it like to be married?"

Oz cast him a sidewards glance, one eyebrow raised. "Haven't you heard enough of that from Break?"

Gil shrugged and looked away. "If you don't want to tell me, fine."

Oz shrugged and relented. "It's weird," He admitted, watching Alice laugh as she stumbled around with some random in her sad excuse of a dance. "Obviously we both felt the same way the whole time and even though I've only known her for three weeks it feels like forever. I mean, we thought we hated each other for so long and it was so sudden that I guess it's only early days, but it's more like we're just going out rather than that we're married. Does that make sense?"

Gil shook his head and grinned. "No, but I'm half-drunk so nothing makes much sense to me right now. I think someone's looking for you."

Gil pointed just ahead of them and Oz followed his gaze until he met eyes with Alice. She saw him too and strode over to him with purpose. Once she was within earshot Oz opened his mouth to say something but she beat him to it, grabbing his wrist and yanking him out of his chair abruptly, dragging him over to the food table. At first he thought she was going to complain about the meat, but instead she grabbed the platter and continued on her determined way. She gestured wordlessly at the dessert table and Oz curiously took a few nice-looking desserts before letting Alice drag him back up to… the house. Oz's mind raced and his heart skipped as she lead him down the corridors, wondering where she was taking him…

His messy living room. Alice threw her meat down on the carpeted floor before diving into the DVD cabinet, taking the first movie she saw the shoving it into the DVD player. Finally, she collapsed on one of the many beanbags next to her meat platter and commenced her own little movie session. Oz watched in amazement before chuckling a little to himself and setting himself down, desserts and all, next to her. As the movie progressed, they unconsciously sidled closer together until Alice's head was on Oz's chest and his arm was around her shoulder.

At long last, he spoke.

"That was some speech," He murmured into her hair, absently combing his fingers through her now let-down fringe and quietly reveling in the fact that he was licensed to be so close to her now.

Alice giggled quietly at the image of two undead pirates floating on a boat in dresses before replying. "Eh, it was nothing. You of all people should know that."

Oz grinned. "Too right. How you holding up?"

Alice's slim shoulders shrugged beneath his shoulders. "Pretty good, actually. I've got a lot off my chest, I think." Her eyes narrowed suddenly. "What gives you the impression I would cave?"

Oz chuckled softly. "Nah. You're way too proud for that."

Silence descended again. Once again, Oz was the one to break it:

"You sure you don't want to go back to the party? They're probably wondering where we got off to."

Alice shook her head firmly. "No way in hell. Those old people were giving me filthy looks all night. It's ridiculous."

Oz was surprised. "I thought every girl dreamt of her big fat wedding day."

Alice smirked. "Yeah, but I'm not 'every girl', am I? Besides, _this _is the kind of wedding I want," she said, gesturing at the half-eaten meat platter and the empty bowls of ice cream around them. "None of that emotional fluff. A good movie, some nice food, good company… Screw everyone else. This day's supposed to be about us, right? I don't even know half the people out there, and I doubt you do either. It's meant to be personal. I like it like this."

Oz nodded a few times. "Fair enough. I'm cool with that."

The movie finished and they started another one. Hours rolled by and night turned into day. The party continued without them. They drifted restlessly in and out of consciousness, each of them wonderfully aware of the other's body heat every time. Cheshire joined them eventually and curled up contentedly on Alice's lap, quickly drifting off to sleep himself. At one point Sharon poked her head in curiously, but upon seeing the finally happy couple sleeping on each other's shoulders she smiled to herself and edged out to return to her father who was currently teaching her the best way to stick sweets into people's hair without them noticing. It was surprisingly fun but even if it wasn't Sharon would have just passed the time by basking in the brilliance that came with the recognition her father finally gave her.

And so what was originally made out to be the worst day in the lives of Oz Vessalius and Alice Baskerville swiftly became the best, and the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months and the months into years. Strangers regarded their married relationship with doubt, but those who knew them insisted that they were like two long lost puzzle pieces, fitted together at last.

And as for everyone else… the lives of Lords Vessalius and Baskerville carried on as normal, though there was a certain empty air about the Baskerville mansion that not even the heartless Lord himself could ignore. Break and Sharon suddenly realized that there was much more to each other than met the eye and their bond extended beyond best friends all the way to the closest father and daughter there was ever to be seen. Gilbert plucked up the courage to stand up to his adopted father and finally tell him that he was loyal to the Vessalius family, and while he was at it he told Vincent that his relationship with Ada was just plain silly because everyone could see that it was only one-sided.

So really, the marriage of Oz Vessalius and Alice Baskerville turned out to be a very good thing for everyone. It was perfect.

**A/N: …So that's it. Thanks to everyone who read this and supported it and everything, you've made it all so much fun ^_^ Hope it's an alright ending, I know there are a lot of eyes on this… D; Anyway, thanks so much, it's been fun ;) **


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